Paint My Heart Instead
by eclarerocks
Summary: Eli is a painter in need of a muse... Who knows? Maybe secretive Clare Edwards can prove to be the inspiration he so desperately needs. If her past doesn't prevent her from seeing him...
1. Chapter 1

He stared at the blank canvas, unsure of what to do first. Every artist can attest to the fact that the hardest part of painting is actually starting. But most of these artists at least have ideas as of what they want to paint. But this artist was stumped. He had no desire to paint, which disappointed him to no end. He used to crank out paintings like there was no tomorrow. Plus, these paintings were amazing. He used to put them up in galleries and garner acclaim from countless art critics. He used to be good. Keywords: used to be.

So as he sat down at his easel, there was nothing to paint. His brain was so empty that if you were to bang on his head, it would echo back to you. The painter knew exactly what he needed: an inspiration.

When he was more prolific, it was all because of Julia. He knew that, and he knew, deep down inside, that his paintings were the reason she's gone now. It was all because of him. The worst part was that _she_ couldn't even admit it. It's like he never even existed.

Just as he stood up to put all his useless materials away, his roommate walked through the door.

"Honey! I'm home!" Adam joked, walking into the overcrowded loft, carrying a bag of groceries.

"Ha ha. Very funny. No, seriously, go write a standup routine, you'll kill," Eli said with heavy sarcasm.

Adam held his hand over his heart in mock-hurt. "That cuts deep, Eli. Now I won't let you come to my HBO special," Adam said. "Hey, were you painting?" Adam inquired, excited for his friend. Eli hadn't picked up a paintbrush ever since Julia left, a year and a half ago.

"Nah, man. I guess I thought something would come to me, but I'm just blank. I have a very definitive way of painting," Eli said, following Adam into the kitchen. "I need something specific. Georgia O'Keefe had self-portraits and flowers; Monet had his garden; and even Andy Warhol had his fucking soup cans and Marilyn Monroe. I don't have anything. I need an inspiration," said Eli, opening the fridge and taking a swig straight from the orange juice carton, which didn't seem to bother Adam at all.

"Well that kinda sucks dude. What exactly do you need as an inspiration? A bowl of fruit?" Adam asked jokingly.

"Hah. No I need a... a muse. I need a girl who has a sort of tangible personality, with a smile that can pierce your heart and eyes that you can look at for hours on end."

"Wow," said Adam. "It's a wonder you even found _one _muse with expectations like that."

"Gee, thanks dude. I know I can count on you for being the blunt realist I've come to know and love," Eli said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Sorry. But there's absolutely no way you are going to find someone like that. The chances are about one in a bazillion," Adam said with an apologetic look on his face, knowing that what he said didn't help, but he was unsure as of what to exactly say to satisfy the brooding artist.

Eli smirked at Adam disdainfully. He loved Adam like a brother, but sometimes he unfortunately wasn't of any help. Hoping to change the subject, Eli asked, "What's in the bag?" Usually they never went grocery shopping unless they were reduced to licking the dirty plates clean. They had just gone out yesterday and bought all the essentials, so there was no reason to go shopping again.

"Umm… I forgot to tell you. Alli is coming over tonight," Adam said sheepishly, preparing himself for Eli's imminent outburst.

"UGH. Are you serious?" Eli groaned. It's not that Eli hated Alli, because she was a very nice girl, but that meant that he had to leave his apartment, lest he become a third wheel. The worst thing about when Alli came over was that Eli had nowhere to go. Adam was basically his only real friend, so when Eli wasn't with Adam, he was basically wandering around Toronto like a lost puppy.

"Sorry, bro. But, if it's any consolation, Alli said that her friend has nowhere to go either, so she said you could meet her and hang out while we're together," Adam offered.

"No. I don't want to go on another one of your stupid _setups_. I am perfectly fine being lonely for the rest of my life thank you very much." Eli stated, hoping that Adam would buy his boldfaced lie.

"Trust me, this is totally not a setup. I promise you."

"Scouts honor?" Eli asked, holding up his right hand to seal the deal.

"Scouts honor," promised Adam, smiling and holding up his right hand.

"Okay then. So, seriously, what's in the bag?" Eli inquired, his eyes widening in mock child-like joy, gaining a laugh from his roommate.

* * *

><p>CLARE'S POV<p>

"C'mon, Alli. I do not want to do this. It's stupid," Clare complained, plopping down on her friend's couch.

"Clare, honey, this is the _farthest thing _from a setup! How many times do I have to tell you? What does it take to convince you?" Alli asked, throwing her hands up in the air in defeat.

"You always say that, though. You always say 'Oh Clare-bear this is not a setup!' Then I go out to some movie and there's Declan holding a bouquet of flowers. Or I show up at Applebee's, which I despise mind you, and there's Drew dressed up like we're going to the godforsaken Opera! I just can't win with you can I?" Clare said, exasperated at her friend's ineffective denials.

Ever since they met a year ago, Clare and Alli had been inseparable, but honestly they could not be more different. Clare was more introverted and enjoyed just being by herself. Alli was a social butterfly, who was seen as the "life of the party." Yet their differences only made them better friends. But sometimes those differences caused rifts between the two.

"No. No, no, no. This time is _different_," Alli insisted, shaking her head. "He's Adam's friend. Adam says that he's pretty messed up and not even looking for a relationship right now. So there's absolutely no pressure. I just always feel bad when I stay over at Adam's apartment because you have nowhere to go, no one to hang out with, and we're always kicking this poor guy out of his own home. We both just don't want our best friends to be lonely, that's all." Alli said, raising her hands to show that there's nothing to hide.

"Okay… fine," Clare said, making Alli squeal. "But just this once. And if I see him with a box of chocolates or a tux on, I'm outta there."

"Deal. I promise that there's nothing to worry about. I am just glad that Eli's not going to be sulking around the apartment while Adam and I are _trying_ to be romantic," Alli said, which made Clare fake a gag, laughing at her friend acting all mushy. Alli and Adam had been going out for a while, and Clare was usually awestruck at how two people could be so... compatible. She sure had never felt that way with anyone before, and she doubted she would _ever _experience what her friend had.

LATER

"Okay Clare, I gotta go now. I called Adam and he said Eli's going to come over here to pick you up. He said you guys are going to some bar? The Black Tongue I think? I don't know," Alli said while collecting her belongings to stay overnight at Adam's.

"A bar? Ugh, why does all adult society _need _to revolve around alcohol?" Clare asked, remembering her past experiences with bars, and beer in general. She shuddered, trying not to relive her disturbing childhood memories.

"Aw come on Clare. It won't be that bad. And if it is I'm sure you guys can go somewhere else. Is that alright?" Alli asked, jokingly pinching Clare's cheeks. Clare swiped Alli's hands away and forced a smile.

"What's this guy like anyway?" Clare asked. She didn't want to be stuck at a bar with a pompous jerk or a guy that looked like he had just walked out of Abercrombie & Fitch and was headed out to see the next stupid horror film.

"I'll… let you decide for yourself. I don't want to spoil the surprise!"

"Why do you want it to be a surprise if it's not a blind date?" Clare asked, and Alli smiled sheepishly and bowed her head. "I knew it! This is a setup! Forget it, I'm not going. Nu uh. No way José."

"Wait! Clare it's not a setup I swear. I mean, it'd be nice for you two to hit it off but Eli doesn't expect anything from this date, just as you don't either. Like I said before, _no one _is pressuring you. You'll be fine, I promise," Alli said and put her hand on Clare's shoulder. "Well, I have to go now. I don't want to keep my boyfriend waiting! I'll see you tomorrow!" Alli said, waving while walking out the door.

Clare waved at the closed door, and sighed to herself, grabbing a pencil and a piece of notebook paper and started to write. There was no way she was going to enjoy this.

* * *

><p>ELI'S POV<p>

Eli climbed into Morty and while putting the keys in the ignition, thought about what little Adam had told him about this random girl. Adam told Eli that he would be picking her up at Alli's apartment, even though she didn't even live with Alli, which Eli thought was a little strange.

It had been a long time since he had been out, let alone out with a female. Even if this wasn't a date, Eli felt different. The last time Eli had been out on a date was with Julia, which seemed like it was a hundred years ago.

Adam said this "Clare" character was nice enough, and Adam had full confidence that Eli would enjoy his night, though Eli begged to differ. Nonetheless, here he was, driving to Alli's apartment to pick up someone that wasn't Alli. Eli sighed and turned up his radio, taking his sweet old time to get there.

After 10 minutes, Eli finally arrived and parked Morty. Alli's apartment was on the seventh floor, but elevator's had always bugged Eli, so he decided to take the stairs.

He walked down the hall, to the last door on the left, room 719, and pounded his fist against the door. He waited for a few seconds and puffed out a breath in impatience.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and there she stood. Clare Edwards. Those big, blue, honest, doe eyes struck Eli like a ton of bricks. He didn't want to sound cheesy, but those were the eyes he could get lost in and not feel the need to find his way back out.

He knew, right then, that girlwas what had been looking for.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Okay, so this note might be a little long but I don't expect them all to be this long. So just bear with me here.**

**First things first: I have never, nor will I ever, own Degrassi or anything that has to DO with Degrassi. Got that? Okay cool. And t****he "Black Tongue Bar" is kinda named after the Yeah Yeah Yeahs song Black Tongue, which I also do not own.**

**Next: This is just an experiment AU fic. I have never done an actual series or anything, so I don't know how this will turn out at all. I already have the whole thing planned out, but this is the only part of the story I have written so far. So if I get a good response I might keep going! Maybe. I still am in school, so I won't update every 2 days or something. But I won't take a month for one chapter. Because one of my pet peeves about authors is when they start a story and then just don't finish it. **

**I don't know how long this story will be, but I am anticipating maybe 10 chapters? In the teens? I do not know, because as I said, this is my first chapter story-thingy so I don't know much about the process and stuff.**

**In this story I'm exploring Clare being the darker one than Eli. It seems like Clare is always the innocent one in a way, and I just want to see what it would be like if she were more dangerous than Eli. But that doesn't mean Eli doesn't have secrets of his own… hehehe. What does that mean? I do not know. Guess you'll have to read to find out. **

**And, I love the idea of Alli and Adam together. Don't quite know why… but I just think they'd be cute. So if you don't support Allam, I'm sorry but I won't change it.**

**So if you're still reading this long ass author's note, I commend you. Bravo! And if you would be so kind as to leave a review, I will probably most definitely love you forever. You don't even have to write a really long review (although I would adore you for it) just a few encouraging words would brighten my whole day. You have no idea.**


	2. Chapter 2

Clare was right in the middle of writing when she heard the obnoxious banging at Alli's front door. It was probably that Eli kid. She tried to finish her thought before she went to answer the door. Clare walked over to the door and fixed her hair. She didn't care what Eli thought, but still believed that she had to look at least a _little _bit presentable.

Clare quickly swung the door open and was immediately dumbstruck by the boy in front of her. Eli ran a hand through his black side swept hair, which caused Clare to notice his long, lanky fingers. She gave him a good onceover and almost melted seeing his protruding jaw line and his purely breathtaking green eyes. He was wearing a long black t-shirt with black skinny jeans and Doc Martens. _Snap out of it, Clare,_ she thought to herself, regaining her composure.

"Hi," she said, sticking her hand out for a handshake. "I'm Clare. You're Eli, right?"

"No, I'm here for the kegger. Some guy with an afro told me it was up here." he stated sarcastically, which took Clare a minute to figure out, but she caught on pretty quickly and let out a little laugh, making Eli's knees almost buckle underneath him.

"I'll get my bag," she said and quickly went back to Alli's dining room table and grabbed her bag, exiting her friend's apartment with a smile to the boy she would be spending her evening with.

As they walked down the hall Eli asked, "So, going to the bar is fine with you, right? I'm not totally crazy about bars, but there's supposed to be an okay band playing there tonight. And-"

"Actually, I'd prefer if we went somewhere else. If that's all right with you," Clare interrupted, hoping she didn't offend him.

"No. No it's fine we don't have to go to the bar. Did… did you have anything else in mind?" Eli asked, pushing the button to the elevator. Even though he didn't enjoy elevators, he didn't want to impose Clare with his eccentric habits.

"Well I hadn't really thought about it…" Clare said, embarrassed that she didn't really put any planning into the outing. The elevator opened and they both stepped inside.

"Oh. Well that's fine. I have a place I usually go to when I have nothing else to do."

"Where?" Clare asked, raising her eyebrow quizzically, and Eli thought that he had never seen an eyebrow so perfect. In fact, he had never noticed anyone's eyebrows before hers. He let out a little laugh, "Like I'll tell you! It needs to be a surprise."

Clare laughed at the boy's unique sense of humor and submitted to the idea of a surprise, saying, "The best kind of prize is a _sur_prise."

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Was that really necessary?" Eli asked, secretly enjoying the random quote. Clare laughed and shrugged.

The elevator opened and they both stepped out at the same time, their shoulders brushing. And neither Eli nor Clare could deny the automatic spark they felt, triggered by such a simple action.

They walked out to where Eli had parked and the sight of a hearse in front of her startled Clare. "Huh," she simply stated. "You don't see things like that every day."

"Is it a problem that I drive a hearse?" Eli asked, smirking, but secretly ready for Clare to immediately judge him on his choice of transportation.

"I don't think so… There isn't a dead body in the back is there?" she asked, letting a giggle escape her lips at her own joke.

Eli laughed, and Clare thought to herself that she had never really heard a laugh as inviting as his, as completely warm and lighthearted. "No, no dead body, today at least. It's been a slow week."

She looked at Eli and smiled, enjoying the feeling of joking around with someone for once. Clare and Alli might kid around with each other, but Alli never really got Clare's sense of humor.

They both slid into the hearse and didn't say a word. The silence that ensued was only broken a few times for small trivial questions like favorite color (Clare's was green, Eli's was obviously blue), or favorite movie (Eli loved Psycho, Clare favored The Breakfast Club), and the ride was otherwise an uninterrupted silence.

They pulled up to the street curb and Clare was pleasantly surprise with Eli's choice of venue. They were at the Art Gallery of Toronto.

"Wow," Clare said, obviously impressed with Eli. "I never expected to go to a _museum_ of all places."

"Thought I was going to take you to a torture dungeon? Sorry to disappoint," Eli laughed, climbing out of the car with Clare and walked across the street to enter the building.

Eli insisted on paying his and Clare's entrance fee, making Clare blush a bit while conveying her thanks. Eli simply nodded, trying to contain his joy at making this gorgeous girl blush.

* * *

><p>They walked around the gallery for what seemed like hours, Eli commented on and analyzed every painting or sculpture they walked by, and Clare was astounded at his profound knowledge of paintings. She was enjoying the night much more than she thought she would.<p>

After Eli had made an especially insightful comment on a piece of artwork, Clare asked the question she had been dying to know ever since they'd seen the first painting: "How do you even know so much about art, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious? I know everything," Eli said with a smug look on his face, which made Clare playfully slap him. "Nah," Eli said. "I'm an artist. I paint… well, I used to paint."

"Hm, I never would've pegged you as an artist."

"Is it that hard to believe?" Eli asked with a smirk.

"No. I just thought that being a caretaker was your main profession," Clare teased, shooting Eli a challenging glare with a playful smile on her lips.

Eli laughed "No, but that's my backup. I haven't done many paintings recently anyway," Eli stated, looking down, remembering all of his failed attempts at restarting his painting career.

"It seems like you really love art, though. So why not pick it back up?" Clare asked, and her ignorance amused Eli for a moment.

"Maybe," he said, and they walked into the next room.

* * *

><p>After walking around for another hour, they stopped at the little café at the museum, constantly talking about this and that while eating. They finished and decided to prolong the evening by stopping by Grange Park. Neither one was going to admit it, but they wanted to prolong this non-date as much as they could.<p>

"That was a lot of fun," Clare said, smiling as they walked on the pathway. They had spent the whole night together, and yet Eli still felt a pang of desire every time she smiled.

"Yeah, I don't think it was a _total_ disaster. Adam and Alli will be thrilled when we tell them we didn't kill each other."

Clare laughed, "Your right, they'll be so smug."

Another comfortable silence fell over them, which Eli interrupted with a question he was surprised he didn't ask before. "Where do you work?"

"Oh, I just work at a record store," Clare said. "It's pretty nice. It's got a whole _Pretty in Pink _vibe going for it. I like it a lot."

"So does that mean you are into music?" Eli asked, raising a brow.

"I dabble. Nothing too groundbreaking," Clare said humbly. "Do you have a job?"

"I dropped out of OCAD University in my sophomore year, and even getting a menial job at Kinko's is hard nowadays. So, no, I don't have a job," Eli said, seeming very nonchalant about the whole thing.

"So… you just mooch off of Adam basically?" Clare asked, giggling.

"Basically, yeah," Eli said, laughing at his own misfortune. "Did you go to college?"

"Um… No," Clare simply stated.

Eli waited for an explanation, but got none, so he tried to prompt her. "Is there… a reason why you didn't go to college?" he prodded.

"Yes. Yes there is." Clare had noticeably gotten more uncomfortable, making Eli regret asking her in the first place.

"Oh. If you don't want to talk about it, I get it. We just met and all," he said, trying to remain respectful of her boundaries.

"Thanks. I'm just not one for opening up. Maybe I'll tell you some other time," Clare said, looking directly into Eli's eyes, and he knew that those eyes would be the end of him.

"So this means there'll be a next time?" Eli asked with a smirk, trying not to get his hopes up.

"Possibly," Clare said with yet another teasing smile, and Eli's heart did somersaults.

Eli looked at his watch and saw that it was around 1 o'clock in the morning. "Shit, it's 1 AM. Time sure flies fast, huh? Do you need to go home or something?"

Clare looked disappointed that she would be going back home, to leave Eli. She didn't really want to admit it, but she was starting to really like him, even if she had only known him since earlier that day.

"Oh, I can't. I forgot something at Alli's apartment. Can you just take me back there?" Clare asked, not wanting Eli to see where she lived.

"Can't you just get it later?" Eli asked, unaware that Clare doesn't want to be taken home.

"I live close to her house anyway, if it's no trouble, I need to get my notebook, I left it there."

"Okay, that's fine," Eli said, wondering what was so important in her notebook that she needed it immediately.

They drove back to Alli's house, and took the elevator up to her floor in silence. As they walked down the hall, Eli thought to himself that this was the best time he'd had in a long time.

They got to Alli's door and Clare turned around, looking up at Eli, saying "It was nice meeting you. I had a really great time."

"I did too, Clare." She noticed that the way he said her name sounded better than any other word she had heard in her lifetime.

"I'll… see you around?" Clare asked hopefully.

"I could arrange that… You have my number right?" Clare nodded, remembering when they had exchanged numbers earlier that night. "Okay, good. Bye Clare," Eli said, and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, leaving his lips burning.

"Bye Eli," Clare breathed, and entered Alli's apartment, closing the door behind her and leaning up against it. She placed a hand over her cheek where his lips had just been, feeling the warmth that emanated from them. She really liked him, and she knew that falling for Eli was not smart. Because even though he was sweet, artistic, witty, and not to mention, very good-looking, Clare knew that her past would get in the way, just like it always did.

She couldn't call him. Clare knew if she saw him again she wouldn't be able to resist him anymore. Resist telling him _everything. _She knew that if she saw Eli again, she would have to let him into her life. And that's exactly the opposite of what she wanted.

Eli stood still right outside the door, smiling to himself. Clare was amazing. Smart, amusing, gorgeous, and so many other things that he just couldn't even fathom existed in one person. Eli knew that he had to see her again.

He had to get her to model for him.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note (I just like putting them at the bottom):<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I wish I did like every other fangirl out there. I also don't own or have ANYTHING to do with the Art Gallery of Toronto (I've actually never been there so...). Plus, I don't own the Ontario College of Art and Design University (wow, mouthfull). AND I don't own Pretty in Pink. So... what do I own? I dunno, slippers I guess?**

**Okay, so I feel like that sucked major ass. So please just tell me now and I will stop torturing you. It was rushed, yet so SLOW at the same time. I don't even know... Sorry.**

**Anyway, if you leave a nice review, that will make me SO happy, and consequently make YOU happy because you know that you made someone happy today. Don't you want to make someone happy? **


	3. Chapter 3

Eli tried dialing her number again, and yet again there was no answer. But he didn't leave another voicemail. One was good, but he wouldn't leave two, because that was a bit desperate, and three was borderline stalking. So he just hung up in frustration.

Eli had been trying to get a hold of Clare since they first met a week and a half ago, but either her phone was always off or she wouldn't pick it up. Eli looked back on their non-date and tried to see if there was any indication that she didn't want to see him again. He thought about her reluctance to talk about her past, and the way she wouldn't let him take her to her apartment, and sighed in frustration. What did he do wrong? He pushed the negative thoughts of out his mind and remembered the exact sensation he felt when he leaned in to kiss her, the soft skin on her cheek definitely could not have been imagined. And the tingling sensation that her cheek left on his lips left them throbbing, even if the kiss had hardly any pressure. Just remembering the simple kiss made Eli's heart fall over with a thud in his chest. There was no way he could go another day without at _least_ hearing her voice. He picked up the phone and dialed her number, just _one _more time. And if she didn't pick up this time, he would just forget about her. Forget her eyes. Forget her smile. Forget everything about her.

Impossible.

Eli tapped his fingers impatiently as he listened to the phone ringing, building up false hope in his heart.

"Hello?" said Clare on the other line, and Eli never thought that one word could make him want to jump out of his skin with happiness.

"Hi," Eli breathed, just glad to finally have gotten in contact with her. "It's Eli."

"Oh, h-hi Eli. What are you up to?" Clare asked, not expecting his voice to be on the other line.

"Nothing. Well, actually I was trying to paint, but it isn't quite… working out."

"That's too bad," Clare said with a sigh.

"Yeah… so, I was wondering, if you could come over or something?"

"… Can I ask why?" she questioned, with a little hesitation in her voice.

"Well, I was wondering... could I possibly paint a portrait of you?" Eli asked, realizing how insane his request might sound. "You don't have to do it," he rushed to explain. "It's just that, I haven't' been painting a lot, and—"

"Eli," Clare cut him off mid-ramble. "It's fine. I'll do it."

He could barely contain the burst of excitement that overcame him from hearing that. But he tried to remain composed, he didn't want Clare to think he was obsessed with her. "Are you sure? I know we don't know each other very well and all, and I don't want to make the situation any more awkward than it already is."

"And how exactly is this situation awkward?" Clare challenged. And when Eli didn't respond, she laughed and said, "That's what I thought. But yes, Eli I'll do it if it'll help with your… painter's block. But just as long as there's no nudity. This is not the effing Titanic, got that?"

He laughed brightly, and he was glad that he didn't make up that sense of humor she had in his own mind. It was still hard to believe that she wasn't a figment of his imagination, to be honest. "Gotcha. So, do you know how to get to my place?"

"Yeah, I think I've dropped off Alli there a few times. What time?"

"Whenever you're free. I've got loads of time on my hands," Eli said, hoping that it didn't make him sound too desperate.

"Well, I'm free right now so I guess I'll see you in a few?"

"Sounds like a plan, Stan," Eli said, hoping to make Clare laugh, which he succeeded in doing. He knew, deep down in the pit of his stomach, that her laugh had awakened something in him that he never knew was asleep. Something he never knew existed, and he couldn't quite name what it was.

After waiting 15 minutes, Eli was starting to get impatient. He was always an impatient person, and the fact that he was anxious to see Clare only heightened his restlessness. He was about to go pour himself another cup of coffee when he finally heard Clare knock on the door. He rushed over to the door and swung it open.

She looked even better than he had remembered. Today she wore a yellow sweater and a white blouse with neon blue jeans. She looked like she wasn't wearing any makeup, which pleased Eli greatly. Less makeup means less work on his part.

"Hi," he croaked, unaware of why his voice failed him at such a moment.

"Hey," Clare said, and awkwardly stood in the doorway for a few seconds. "Can I… come in?"

"Oh, of course," Eli said, stepping aside to allow her entrance. "Sorry, I'm just... anxious to start painting again."

"I'll bet. How long has it been, anyway?" Clare implored while walking around, examining his apartment. It wasn't very big, just cozy enough for two low-key guys. Clare could tell that most of (if not all) the artwork hung up on the walls was Eli's. She saw abstract paintings that were most likely not his, and she saw even more portraits of a girl, which she knew right away that Eli had painted.

"Um… about a year and a half I think?" Eli said, growing uneasy that she was looking at all of his paintings. It's not that he's an artist that is overly critical of himself, it's just he didn't want Clare to see his past; he didn't want her to see Julia. But she didn't say anything in response, simply gazing at his artwork. "You're really good. Do you mind if I ask you who she is?" Clare asked, indicating the painting of Julia on the wall in front of her.

Eli knew he wouldn't be able to lie to Clare, so he simply said, "That's my ex. Julia."

Clare nodded, seeming to understand perfectly. "Ah, is this the infamous ex-girlfriend?"

Eli managed to let out a chuckle. "I wouldn't say _infamous_ but… wait, how do you know about Julia?"

Clare paused, "I think Alli may have told me that you were kind of still hung up over someone…"

Eli mentally slapped himself. _That Alli girl really can't keep her mouth shut sometimes,_ he thought to himself. "Yeah. Well, I guess that's her." Eli said, wanting to change the subject. "Shall we get started?" he asked, gesturing to the space he had setup for her.

"Um… sure. I've never done this before. So I am pretty unaware of what exactly to do," she said with some hesitation.

"Well, as long as you do what I say, I think you'll be just fine."

"Fine isn't good enough!" Clare joked. "I need to be the _best!_" Eli laughed, and noticed that she was smiling too, which only made his heart warmer.

"I'm sure you shall be the best model this world has ever seen, Clare. But we can't know that if we don't get started. So, let's get started."

Clare laughed, shrugging and sat down on the stool. "Is this fine?"

"Yeah, just… move your head a little to the right… there. Okay. So I'm just going draw your face today. I'm just… testing the waters. Is that fine?"

"A-ok boss man," Clare said with a giggle, and Eli couldn't help but notice the way her eyes shone in the lighting. The sun was getting ready to set, and they were by a large window, which caused the pink hues of the sunset to dance around her face, creating an angelic glow. Eli had to catch his breath for a moment. She was breathtaking. There was absolutely no way he would do her face justice. But he was sure going to try.

He focused on the small details. The shape of her lips and the way they held the small hint of a smile. The curve of her eyebrow as it was slightly raised in an inquisitive look. Her full cheeks. Her chin. And before he knew it, an hour had passed. He only realized it because the light was starting to fade. But, even though it had been an hour, the drawing might have been one of the greatest sketches he's ever done.

"Okay," Eli said, breaking Clare out of a trance. "I'm done."

"Lemme see," she said, stumbling over to look at it. After a small gasp and a pause, she simply stated, "Wow."

"Wow what? Wow as in, 'Wow Eli you are the greatest artist to ever walk this earth'? Or 'Wow Eli you should never paint in your life again'?"

Clare laughed and smacked him on the arm. "Eli. This is amazing. How do you even do stuff like this?"

"I don't exactly know… comes naturally I guess. Plus, you're very easy to draw. You're very beautiful." Eli was glad that what he said caused a blush to form on Clare's face.

"Shut up," Clare said, which caused Eli's signature smirk to appear on his face.

* * *

><p>After Eli had finished drawing Clare, she stuck around for a while and they just talked. They seemed to be able to talk for hours, and never run out of things to say.<p>

It was 1 AM again before Clare left, which made both of them laugh.

"We've really got a streak going, don't we?" Clare asked, laughing at their accuracy.

"Yeah, there ought to be some world record for that or something," Eli agreed.

"We should look that up sometime," Clare hinted.

"Ah, there you go again, implying at there being a 'next time.' You're real sneaky, Edwards."

"I've been told," Clare said, winking, which sent Eli's heart into a sputtering mess. He wanted to ask her why she hadn't returned his calls, or why she didn't even try to contact _him_ instead of vice versa, but he decided that he didn't want to rock the boat.

"I enjoyed tonight," Clare said. "If you ever need a model again, I'm pretty much always free..."

Eli smirked. "I think I'll take you up on that offer."

"Well, good then," Clare said, and instead of waiting for Eli to make a move, she leaned up, and placed a kiss on his cheek, causing Eli to smile the brightest smile she'd ever seen. The _happiest_ smile she'd ever seen. "I… gotta go. I'll see you."

"Bye," Eli simply stated, still stunned by the feeling of her lips on his skin. As she stepped out the door, Eli imagined her lips kissing his skin on _other_ places on his body. _Stop it, Eli, _he thought, _that's wrong on _so_ many levels, you hardly even know this girl!_

He turned around and saw one of the last portraits of Julia he had left. As much as he didn't want to remember her, he did. He didn't love her anymore, but he still thought of what could have been.

FLASHBACK

"_Eli! Wake up sleepy!" Julia said so him in a singsong voice. Throwing the covers off of him and pushing his lazy ass out of bed._

"_Ugh!" Eli groaned, looking at the clock. "Julia, let me sleep in, please? It's only 9 in the fucking morning!"_

"_Okay, fine. But the art curator called, and said that you should head over to the gallery at 10 to go set everything up. But if you don't want to… I guess we could call the whole thing off?" _

"_No! No I'm up. I'm up I swear," Eli said, trying to convince himself (as well as Julia) that he is, in fact, awake. _

_He shaved, showered, brushed everything that needed to be brushed, and him and Julia set off to Gallerywest, a small contemporary art gallery, where Eli was showing his paintings. The opening was that night and, to be honest, Eli was scared out of his fucking mind. A million thoughts ran through his head, mostly negative, but the few that were positive all had to do with one person: Julia. Julia was Eli's muse, his everything. They basically lived in their own world, where no one could disturb them or break them apart. But Eli could feel Julia drifting. He knew that she wasn't as introverted as he was, and that she was longing to go out, to try new things, meet new people. But all of these things didn't appeal to Eli, so she just gave up trying to convince him, building up a small amount of resentment to him every day. And this thought killed Eli inside. But if he let her go, then he would be out of an inspiration._

_And that's the last thing he wanted._

_As soon as Eli and Julia had finished hanging all of his paintings, they went back to get ready for the opening. They had gotten into a little fight, about whether or not Eli should consider selling his paintings. Eli was purely against the idea, while Julia thought that it could be good for him. The argument was starting to get heated, but Eli didn't want to upset her and give her a legitimate reason to leave him. He wanted her to stay, to be there for him that night. So he let it go, and they drove back to Gallerywest in silence._

_The reception of Eli's opening was surprisingly very positive. He had to mostly mingle with all of the hipsters and art critics that came, and he had no time to just sit back and relax. _

_Once most of the people left, Eli was left to finally enjoy his art. He had Julia, and Adam had stopped by earlier to show his support, and everything was good for him. That is, until he was confronted by James Julani, the famously rich (and famously drunk) art collector. _

"_Elijah! My boy!" James said, slurring his words. "This show is fantastic! I _must_ buy at least one of your paintings!" _

"_Well," Eli said, hesitantly, "I don't know… they're awfully personal and everything. What do you think, Jules?" Eli asked, although he already knew the answer. _

"_I think it's a lovely idea. How much are we talking here?"_

"_I know that these paintings aren't worth much now, but I'm sure in the next few years they will triple in worth, so I'm willing to offer you $50,000 for 3 of your paintings."_

_Eli chocked on his spit. "50 grand? This is a joke."_

_James chuckled, "If I were joking, you'd KNOW it!"_

_Julia had to go sit down. She had never seen that much money in her entire life, and she knew that she couldn't let Eli turn down such an offer. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, she stood back up and walked over to the two men. "Deal," she simply said, which caused the extremely drunk James to jump up and down, and Eli to frown disappointedly. He didn't want to give up his paintings, but he knew that she was worth more to him than anything else he ever did, so he simply conceded to her demand, thinking that the money would somehow mend the gap that was growing between them._

_It didn't._

_One morning about a month later, Eli woke up, just happy to be alive. And the next thing he knew, his whole world shattered around him. Julia was gone from his side. And in place of her presence, Eli found a note. Julia had left. She was moving to New York with James Julani. They had been seeing each other since they met that night at his first art opening. She had cheated. She had lied. She had torn his whole entire life down to nothing with one simple letter. _

_She was gone._

Eli shook his head, attempting to extract his putrid memories from his mind. And the only thing he could think of to keep his mind off of his resurfaced pain was to turn on the mind-numbing television. He walked over to the TV set and turned it on, right to a gossip show, where the host was doing an interview with hugely successful Hollywood actress Julia Miller.

_His _Julia Miller.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Yeah... I don't own Degrassi. I don't own Titanic. I don't own Gallerywest and I don't own anything else mentioned in this chapter. Why? Because I am a FAILURE AT LIFE! **

**This chapter was actually supposed to go an almost completely different way. But I like this a lot better. Let me know what you think.**

**HOLY FUCKING HELL. 27 reviews in just TWO measly chapters? Holy carp I love you guys (yes, I did say "Holy carp") But seriously, doesn't writing reviews make you happy? I know that when I write them they just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It feels nice to make someone happy ( can definitely attest to this fact).**


	4. Chapter 4

Every other day, Clare drove over to Eli's house after invite after invite. She would just sit there and think for hours, think about everything and nothing simultaneously. She would sit in the craziest poses. He would become immersed in the art. Whether he was roughly sketching her face with charcoal, or finger painting a crazy gesture drawing, he seemed to enjoy it more than anything in the world. Clare can't remember the last time she saw someone so… passionate about something. Clare found it absolutely endearing the way he would stick his tongue out when he was working on something especially challenging, or when he would scratch his head before starting the piece. Sometimes it would take him hours to finish, other times he was satisfied doing a simple sketch, without any of the bells or whistles. And once he was done, Clare would still stay afterwards and they would talk for hour on end without fail. Clare expected Adam to be around more often, but Eli told her that he had picked up more hours at his job so he could make more money. And when she did finally leave, nothing more than a kiss on the cheek was exchanged. After a few weeks of simple kisses on the cheek, both were becoming frustrated. And almost every night they would appear in each other's dreams; and they were definitely _not_ just kissing on the cheek.

Clare always marveled at Eli's work. Every time she looked at what he painted or drew of her, she actually felt _beautiful._ And not just in the superficial way, she thought that Eli almost captured her personality, what was behind her façade, delving deeper than just her surface. She felt that he actually _knew_ her.

But he didn't.

He could never know.

* * *

><p>Eli was finished doing a watercolor painting of Clare, and after he successfully snapped her out of her stupor she walked patiently over to see his drawing and her smile instantly grew. She was now acquantied with Eli's innate talent, but she was still amazed every time she saw another piece of his artwork.<p>

"Do you like it?" Eli asked, hope glistening in his eyes.

Clare tried to put on a straight face. "I hate it," she said, but Eli could see straight through her right away, and laughed at her sarcasm.

"No I love it. I love all of your artwork."

"Aw shucks, thanks," Eli said, a small hint of a blush growing on his cheeks even if he was joking around.

"I couldn't think of one person that wouldn't love your art." Eli immediately saw where she was going with this. "No, Clare. I won't do it."

"Do what?" Clare asked, trying to remain innocent, but Eli didn't buy it for a second.

"Try to get me to sell my paintings. I won't consent to it. No way."

Clare laughed in Eli's face. "I never said I wanted you to _sell_ the paintings! Just, you know, actually show them to someone who isn't me or Adam?"

Eli stroked his imaginary beard in mock contemplation. "Nah…"

Clare stomped her foot, starting to get more and more annoyed with Eli's careless attitude towards his art. "God dammit Eli, why the hell not?"

"None. Of your. Business," Eli said, suddenly tensing up, trying to emphasize that he doesn't want Clare to know why, but she wouldn't give up.

"Oh come _on_, Eli! Every time I've asked you why you won't show your art you get so dismissive of it all of a sudden." Eli simply shrugged in response. "Your art is meant to be seen by _people_. Plural. You know that right?" Clare asked in a sarcastic voice. "And why did you even ask me to model for you if this art isn't going to see the light of day?"

"You _really _think you know everything about art?" Eli asked, rapidly getting defensive. "You think you know _everything_, Clare. But the reality is that you know nothing! You are just an egotistical princess!" The words stung Clare, to say the least. And even Eli knew that he had crossed the line. He didn't really mean it, but right now he would say anything to keep Clare from finding out about Julia.

"Well at least I'm not a pretentious self-deprecating ass of an artist!" Clare yelled, closing the distance between her and Eli, poking his chest with her index finger. And with that, Clare went off on a rant. But strangely enough, Eli got distracted. She was flailing her arms every which way, her hair was a complete mess, and even though she was completely angry at him she was still smiling goofily and her cheeks were flushed in rage. Eli couldn't help but notice how absolutely gorgeous she looked.

Clare kept going on her rant, unaware of Eli's shift in mood. "And another thing-"

"You talk too much," Eli said, and swooped down to capture her lips for the first time.

To say that they felt sparks was an understatement. The kiss set off an explosion that had been slowly building up for the past few weeks. As their lips moved in perfect synchronization with each other, they could feel the kiss everywhere. Pleasure and desire sent waves of delightful flames coursing through their bodies. Eli gripped Clare's waist tightly and she wrapped her arms around Eli's shoulders as he thrust his tongue into Clare's mouth. The only thing she could concentrate on was the feeling of his lips on hers, the sensation completely fogging her mind. The kiss started off slow, but the intensity grew as they both realized how much they needed it. It turned into a hot mess, both groaning out of their mutual want for each other. They had been kissing for what seemed like hours, when they finally pulled apart for air, their bodies left shaking from the zealous kiss. Eli rested his forehead on Clare's. "You have absolutely _no _idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said with a small laugh, pulling back a bit to kiss her forehead gently.

Now that Clare's entire mind wasn't consumed with the kiss, clarity came to her. Even if that kiss was the most passionate, most electrifying, and probably the greatest kiss she'd ever had, it was wrong. She couldn't do this to Eli. She couldn't do this to herself, either. "I have to go," Clare said, unexpectedly pulling away from their embrace, rushing to gather her things.

"Clare? Wait, where are you going? What's going on?" Eli started to panic. She can't kiss him like that and then just up and leave. "Did I do something wrong?" Clare wouldn't answer any of his desperate questions; she just rushed through the door with one look back. "I'm so sorry, Eli."

"Clare! Wait!" Eli called after her, dashing down the hall, but not quick enough. She was gone.

* * *

><p>Clare was sitting at Alli's kitchen table reading the newspaper when her phone started to vibrate for about the 200th time that week. It was another text from Eli. She couldn't look at it, because she already knew what it was going to say. Something along the lines of "What happened?" or "Are you alright?" and even "What did I do wrong?"<p>

That last one killed Clare the most. She hated that she made him think that _he_ was the one that did something wrong, when he in fact did everything right. He was perfect. She was the fucked up one. She was the one with the past that she couldn't share. _She_ did everything wrong. It was probably a mistake to even let him in in the first place.

But she missed him. It had only been a week and she missed him so much. More than she ever thought possible. She missed his smirk, his humor, his eyes, his hair, his intelligence, and his painting talents. She missed sitting in his apartment for hours on end just looking at him, while he looked at her. She missed talking for hours in his apartment. She missed the way her face would burn when he said something borderline flirtatious. Just thinking about him again caused a rush of feelings to invade her mind. But she had to push them out. She couldn't be weak. She wouldn't let herself screw everything up again.

As Clare was deep in thought, Alli snuck up behind her and yelled, "BOO!" which caused Clare to practically jump out of her skin.

"Alli!" Clare shrieked. "What the hell?"

Alli laughed. "Sorry Clare, I couldn't resist. Everyone knows you're a total scaredy-cat! Besides, I need to tell you something," she said, becoming more grave.

"Ooh, so serious," Clare said, trying to mask the fact that she was a little uneasy about what Alli had to say. Alli was hardly ever like this, and when she was, Clare knew to brace herself for something bad.

"Yeah," Alli said, looking down. "So, Adam and I have been going out for quite a while now. And… I think I'm ready to take the next step with him."

Clare laughed, "I thought you two were sleeping together already!"

"No, it's not that. A _different_ step."

Clare gasped. "You're _marrying_ him?"

"No! No Clare I am not getting married any time soon!" Alli cried. "But I _am _going to move in with Adam." Clare was speechless. To say she was shocked would be underplaying her emotions entirely. "It's just… I'm ready, Clare. We've been together for such a long time, and I just want to be with him."

"Wow," Clare said, flabbergasted at her friends uncharacteristic attitude. "You guys really love each other, huh?"

"We really do," Alli said with a bright smile. "I just wanted to tell you now, instead of springing it on you on the last minute. I know you just _love _mooching off of me all the time, but my apartment will no longer be at your disposal after this month."

"Well, aren't you all mature now?" Clare teased. "Giving me notice in _advance_? I am so grateful."

Alli giggled. "I am so grown up now!" Clare smiled and looked back down at the paper. But Alli kept talking about the move. "Adam has been picking up extra shifts to pay for this new apartment we're renting. Wait till you see it, Clare. It's amazing. Just small enough for the two of us but nice and spacious. Blah, blah, blah, blah."

Well, perhaps Clare made that last part up. She stopped paying attention to her friend's ramblings until she heard Alli mention Eli. But she was talking so fast that Clare had to ask her to repeat what she just said.

"Oh, I just said that Adam is worried about leaving Eli alone. He told me he's been sulking around the apartment a lot more than usual lately. And apparently he had been doing a lot better for the past few weeks. Adam just said that he's kind of relapsed in a way."

Clare felt her heart weigh down in her chest. She automatically knew why Eli was acting that way. It was because of _her_.

Alli could clearly see the change in expression on her friend's face. "You've been hanging out with him a lot lately… Did he say anything?" Alli asked, even if she pretty much knew what was on Clare's mind, she wanted Clare to tell her herself.

"It's… well… no. Not really but I think I know why he's like that."

Clare didn't say anything more, and Alli figured that she would have to push her more. "Do tell."

Clare hesitated. "Um… about a week ago… Eli and I. We kinda- well- we…"

"Clare!" Alli was getting frustrated with her stalling. "Spit it out!"

"Eli and I kissed," Clare said, hanging her head low.

Of course Alli's first reaction was to squeal in utter delight, but she knew that the story didn't add up. "Then why is he so sad? Was it a bad kiss?"

"No. It was most definitely _not_ a bad kiss," Clare said, a hint of a blush coloring her cheeks.

Alli tried to contain her joy, because she could see that Clare was really hurt. "Well, then, what happened?"

"I- I ran away. Ouch!" Clare exclaimed, after Alli smacked her arm.

"Why would you do that?"

Clare shrugged. "I can't be with him. It's too complicated."

"Why is it so complicated?" Alli groaned. She was trying to help Clare, but it seemed impossible because Clare was very secretive.

"It just is. Listen, Alli I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Clare said, getting up from the table. She wasn't mad at Alli; she just didn't want to tell her. It would ruin everything if Alli knew.

"Clare?" Alli asked, and Clare turned around. "You should go talk to him. Don't just leave him hanging. You've been so happy these past weeks, and if he is the reason you are so happy, I don't think you should just give up that easily."

Clare was surprised that Alli had given her such meaningful advice. She simply nodded her head and walked out, taking into consideration what Alli had just said.

Clare had to get to work anyway. The Deep Pit was probably the greatest place Clare had ever worked. It was nice and small, but with a huge selection of CDs, records, and tapes that would make any music lover drool. It was never crowded, and there were a few listening stations here and there. Clare especially loved her friend that worked there, Crystal. Crystal was a couple years older than Clare and seemed to have countless more years of experience than Clare. She was, in her most basic form, a mix between Juno and Iona from Pretty in Pink. Clare asked her for advice all the time, and Crystal was consistently great at giving it. So Clare figured she would tell Crystal about her problem with Eli and hopefully she will have the answer.

"Hmm…" Crystal said, after listening patiently to Clare give her the story. "How good was this kiss?" she asked, running her hand through her long green hair.

"Electrifying," Clare simply said. "He's so… irresistible. I just don't know whether or not to actually _let him in_. It's really hard for me to trust people. After… everything, you know?" Crystal didn't know the whole story, but Clare had told her once that some stuff had happened to her that made her question her entire life. Crystal saw that Clare didn't want to say anything about it, so she never asked about it after that, deciding it would be best to just let her be.

"You want my honest opinion?" Clare nodded fervently. "It seems like you hate letting people in, and you've never even _considered_ opening yourself up to anyone before." Clare nodded again; a little bit unsure as to where Crystal was going with all of this. Thunder rattled the store for a minute. There was a prediction that there was a huge storm on the way, and Clare figured this was just the beginning. "And you've been thinking about opening yourself up to this guy for a while now. So, it sounds like since you are even considering letting him in means that you really like him. You wouldn't want to share everything with him if you didn't genuinely trust him."

"And…?" Clare was looking for a more concrete answer. If there's one thing she knew about Crystal, it was that she doesn't beat around the bush.

"You should trust him. The fact that you're even considering letting him into your life should be reason enough to let him in."

Realization dawned on Clare just as a bolt of lightening invaded the store. Then rain started pouring down in buckets. "Shit, it's really raining ain't it?" Crystal asked, seemingly forgetting the deep advice she just handed to Clare on a silver platter.

"Crystal! You're a genius!" Clare said.

"Nah, I'm just observant. Anyone can see it's raining," Crystal joked, with a crafty wink at Clare.

But Clare didn't notice. She was already halfway out the door, walking to Eli's apartment in the pouring rain.

* * *

><p><em>Bang! Bang!<em>

"I'm coming," Eli said, lugging his way over to the door.

_Bang!Bang!Bang! _

"I said I'm coming!" Eli shouted, throwing the door open to see a soaking wet Clare standing in front of him.

It seemed like years since he'd seen her, even if it'd been only a week. She was out of breath, and Eli could tell that she had rushed to his house.

"Hi," Eli exhaled, overjoyed that she was standing right in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Clare immediately said. "I'm so sorry for running off on you like that. I was scared. I still _am_ scared, to be honest. But I trust you. There's no one I would rather trust than you."

"I… you don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you."

"You didn't push me. At all. Don't blame yourself for any of that. You were amazing." Eli could feel his heart skip a beat when she said that. "I am the problem."

"No, Clare, don't ever say that," Eli said, taking her hands in his while pulling her inside his apartment. "I don't blame you at all. Just, promise me one thing."

"Anything," Clare said, ecstatic that he had forgiven her for being such an ass.

"Promise me you won't leave me hanging like that. I knew that I liked you, but this week was just torture. Not being able to see you, to hear your voice. Nothing made sense anymore, and I can't handle that again. I'm not asking you to never leave me, just promise that you will give me a legitimate reason before you take off again."

"I promise. I swear I will never do that again," Clare vowed as she wrapped her wet arms around Eli.

"Okay, good," Eli said, and he leaned in for another earth shattering kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer (should I be putting these at the top? Lol I guess.): I do not own Degrassi or Juno or Pretty in Pink. I really wish I did, but I don't, because you can't always get what you want, as the Rolling Stones say (I don't own them either haha).**

**Eh sorry for the long wait. School kinda sucks. I would update this every couple days if I had the time, but unfortunately my life is pretty hectic right now.**

**I think next chapter might be some fluff! Unless fluff is too boring. I just want to build up their relationship before I go any further. Is that fine with you? Kay cool.**

**Alli and Adam are legitimately sleeping together because now that Adam's older he was able to get the sex change thing and so he is body is now 100% dude along with his mind. **

**I would totally appreciate any constructive criticism. I would hate it if you guys weren't enjoying this story, so if there's anything I can do to make this better just leave a review okay? That would mean a lot to me. 3**

**P.S. You won't find out what Clare's secret is until Eli finds out. I'm not sure when I want that to happen, but it will happen. I promise.**


	5. Chapter 5

_She was running. Running so fast that she felt as if her lungs would just burn away any second._

_But it wasn't fast enough. _

_As she sprinted through the parking lot, trying to reach him, the only thing she could think was _I'm too late_. _

_She reached him, but just like every other time, she's too late._

_Dead._

* * *

><p>Clare jumped out of her slumber. She was sweating and extremely anxious, unaware of where she was at first. But as she looked around she realized she was at Eli's apartment, on his couch, in his arms. They had fallen asleep after making out for a long time. A <em>long<em> time.

Eli was asleep, but was startled awake when Clare almost leaped out of his arms. "Is everything okay?"

Clare nodded and laughed nervously. "Yeah, I just had a bad dream. Nothing too serious." Eli opened his arms and Clare crawled back into them, suddenly calmed by his soothing scent.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Clare shook her head no in his chest. "All righty then." He kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry, Blue Eyes. It was just a dream."

And without warning, Clare started laughing. She was laughing so hard that she had to take her head off of Eli's chest to get more air to her lungs.

"What's so funny?" Eli asked as Clare tried to regain her composure.

"It's just," Clare said, wiping away a tear, "that nickname. _Blue Eyes_. It's hilarious. Way too cheesy!"

Eli started laughing too. "Yeah I don't exactly know where that came from. I promise I won't call you Blue Eyes. Just… promise me you won't call me baby."

"Aw! But calling you baby is so cute! Cutesy nicknames like 'baby' and 'sweetie pie' can really help to _cement_ a relationship."

"You're kidding."

Clare smiled devilishly. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out…"

"Oh no you don't!" Eli exclaimed, starting to tickle Clare's sides.

"Stop! Stop stop stop!" Clare gasped in between fits of laughter.

"Not until you _promise_ there will be no cutesy nicknames!"

"OKAY! Hahah! Okay I promise!" Clare shrieked.

"Okay, good," Eli said, and he leaned in to give Clare a kiss.

A type of kiss that they would never grow tired of. Slow, but needy. Passionate, but subdued. Electric, but calm. In other words, perfect.

* * *

><p>"Okay, I've got a good one," Clare says as her and Eli walked down the street with their hands entwined together, going nowhere in particular. "Would you rather… be a totally unknown minor league hockey player, or be a world famous ping pong player?"<p>

Eli pretended to look deep in thought before he said, "World famous ping pong player. Obviously. Have you seen those guys?"

Clare shook her head in amusement. "Nope."

"Me neither," Eli laughed. "Would you rather… hmm... oh wait! This one is good. Would you rather be born with a giraffe neck or a horn on your head like a rhino?"

"Giraffe's neck," Clare said without hesitation. "So I can see better at concerts. I'm _not_ exactly the tallest person."

Eli let out a small laugh, and smirked. Which made Clare realize that she will never, _never_, get used to the effect that smirk had on her.

They walked for a few more blocks in silence, just enjoying one another's presence, until they reached an old stone house. It was fairly large, surrounded by a few trees here and there, and Eli wondered how long they had been walking, because he'd never seen this building before.

"Where are we?" Eli asked, arching his eyebrow.

"This is where I live," Clare said, but elaborated when Eli looked at her with even more confusion. "It used to be one whole house, but now most of the rooms are rented out. It's basically an apartment building."

"Oh…" Eli said, and just stood looking at the façade of the house, waiting for Clare to make a move of some sort. She seemed to be having a type of debate in her mind, and he didn't want to interrupt her deep contemplation.

Finally, she seemed to have made up her mind. "Come on, I want you to see my 'apartment,'" Clare said, dragging Eli across the front lawn.

They walked up the narrow staircase, down the hall, and passed by a couple doors; some emanating a funny smelling smoke, others giving off despicable odors. And then he got to Clare's room at the end of the hall.

To the untrained eye, Clare's room just looked like a big fat mess, but Eli saw what it for what it really was. It was a glimpse into her world. Her oh-so-secretive world that she had never shown anyone before.

Her room was painted a very soft pink, and there were a few askew posters of some bands that Eli had never heard of. In the far corner sat an old couch with a flower pattern on it. Across from it was a beat up television sitting on a white chest of drawers. Clare's bed was in the near corner of the room, with no bed frame. It was just a mattress on the floor. The windows with chipped paint in her room were open and the breeze caused the white curtains to sway a bit. A worn down guitar was propped up on the side of the couch, and scattered across the floor were a few articles of clothing, but there were mostly sheets of music left everywhere. All across the floor, on the couch, on top of the TV, and under the covers of her unmade bed. Music sheets ran rampant around her room.

"Sorry," Clare said as she started to pick up the music sheets. "I would've cleaned up some more if I'd known that you were coming over."

"Don't worry about it," Eli said, helping her clean up the mess. "I'm a guy, I've seen a lot worse than this."

Eli started to read some of what Clare had wrote on the sheets, but he couldn't read much of it, because Clare quickly snatched the papers out of his hands. "Paws off!" she exclaimed.

"I didn't know you wrote music," Eli remarked.

"Yeah well. I don't exactly go around announcing it or anything."

"Do you think I could hear one of your songs?" Eli asked, hopefulness making its way into his eyes.

Clare smiled and shook her head. "No. But maybe someday."

Eli was disappointed, but he was glad to have gained _some_ glimpse of trust from the overly secretive girl. "Okay. Someday. I will _never_ forget. I'm like an elephant in that way."

"In more ways than one," Clare mumbled, hoping that her joke would go unheard by Eli.

"Pardon moi? What are you trying to say, Clare?" Eli said, a diabolical smirk appearing on his face.

"Well, I've wanted to say this for a while…" Clare said, approaching Eli. "But your looks resemble that of an elephant."

"Oh you're in for it now!" Eli shouted, and started chasing Clare around her apartment, both laughing until their lungs hurt.

It was so childish, but they honestly had never been happier.

* * *

><p><strong>Two weeks later…<strong>

While watching the end of Cry Baby (it was Clare's night to choose the movie), Eli and Clare were nestled in her couch, just finishing the huge bowl of popcorn they had made in the communal kitchen.

Eli had been spending more and more time at Clare's house. They had built up a routine where Clare would come over about every other day or so and Eli would paint her and then they would walk over to her apartment building. Eli had met some colorful characters while staying with her. He met Joey (who would marry pot if the laws allowed it); he met Johnny (a total stink bomb who was majoring in computer engineering); he met Linda (she was obsessed with Justin Bieber to say the least); he met Tommy (Type-A nut job); and he met Dee Dee, probably his favorite, who enjoyed COD more than life and was more than willing to play with Eli on a few occasions. He even met the landlord, Connie, who was surprisingly laid back for someone who had six people living under her roof.

Clare had been opening up more and more, but Eli could tell her walls were still standing strong most of the time, and he wanted her walls completely down. Completely open to him.

"This movie is so cheesy," Eli proclaimed, as the ending credits rolled.

"That's the _point_," Clare said. "It is making fun of all of those corny movies that were made in the 50s."

"You only like it because Johnny Depp is in it," Eli stated matter-of-factly.

"No way, you're totally wrong!" Clare said as a blush crept up on her cheeks, indicating to Eli that he had been right.

Eli looked up at the clock. "It's only 8:30. You wanna do something to kill time?" he asked.

"Sure. What did you have in mind?" The first thing that came to Eli's mind was obviously making out, but he wanted to see if Clare would open up to him just a _little_ bit more.

"Can you play me one of your songs?"

Clare hesitated, and Eli was afraid that she would reject the idea like she did two weeks ago. But she surprised him by saying, "Ah, to hell with it," Clare sighed. "Yeah, I'll play you _one_ of my songs. But only one. Got it?" Clare said as she got up and took her guitar to the couch.

Eli did a little happy dance, which made Clare laugh. "It's not that great. I wrote this a while ago, but I still have some stuff to tighten up here and there. Just… be honest when I'm done okay? Your opinion matters a lot to me."

"Oh I will for sure," Eli said, still elated that Clare had finally let him completely in.

"Okay. Well, here goes nothing," Clare said, and she started playing.

_"It's the same four walls that have always been_

_Just sitting in my room that I haven't lived in_

_And I feel so completely changed_

_But everything around me is exactly the same_

_I'm not the girl that I was before_

_Feel like I'm lying each time I walk through the door_

_Sleeping in my own bed feels like a sin_

_It's hard to sink back into my life again_

_Walls are empty, floors are messy, like I left them_

_But now it seems I'm going in a different direction_

_I can't believe I'm a stranger in my own room _

_Feel like nothing's mine and it all belongs to you_

_I'm not the girl that I was before_

_Feel like I'm lying each time I walk through the door_

_Sleeping in my own bed feels like a sin_

_It's hard to sink back into my life again_

_Now I feel trapped in a room that's not mine_

_Looking at all the things you left behind_

_It's strange to go through so much_

_And come home to all the same old stuff_

_I'm not the girl that I was before _

_Feel like I'm lying each time I walk through the door_

_Sleeping in my own bed feels like a sin_

_It's hard to sink back into my life again_

_I'm not the girl that I was before _

_I'm not the girl that I was before _

_I'm not the girl that I was before _

Clare played the last chord, ending the song. And there were so many questions going through Eli's mind. Who is the guy she's singing about? What happened to her?

And most importantly: has Eli really knocked down all of Clare's walls? Or is there a whole nother fortress to conquer?

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Own Degrassi I do not. The song I used is called "Creepy Crawl" and it's by Be Your Own Pet. I _certainly_ did not write this song, nor do I own it in any way. I just totally love that band and I think the song works really well with Clare's storyline.**

**I put a reference to SOMETHING in this chapter that SOME people would recognize if they know me well enough haha.**

**Also, d****ear Ariel C. Rilmonn, be patient young grasshopper! It will all happen in good time! Eli won't paint Clare nude until they have had/are very close to having sex. And that will probably be a long ways away from now (I don't know for sure yet though). So just hold your horses and keep reading. I promise you that it WILL happen!**

**Uhh... yeah. I'm trying to think if there's anything left to say in here. I always seem to forget to add like, ONE important thing in my author's notes.**

**Oh well. Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Clare was standing up in Eli's apartment with her left arm draped over her head while her right arm was hanging onto the wrist of her left hand. Her hips were tilted to the right, and her legs were crossed over one another. It seemed to her that she'd been standing there for a few thousand years, but at most it was an hour or so.

"Eli…" Clare whined. "How much longer is this going to take?"

Eli looked up from his painting, "I don't know. Half an hour maybe?" he said, and chuckled to himself when Clare groaned. She was such a little kid sometimes.

"Just," Eli said as he looked down and started to paint in detail her right leg "think about something to get your mind off of your complete boredom."

Clare smirked. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Eli shrugged and smiled. "Something that makes you happy, I guess. Now be a good model and stop moving or I'll fire you."

Clare laughed and stuck her tongue out at Eli. She sighed and tried to pretend like it was a bother to think of something that makes her happy. But obviously, the first thing that came to her mind was Eli. They had been going out for a little over a month, and it seemed like every second they spent together was… happy. And Clare can't remember the last time she had been so happy so much of the time. They would go off on weird expeditions that Eli dubbed "urban adventures." They spent basically every day together, but had yet to get sick of one another. There was (almost) no topic they hadn't discussed, but they hadn't run out of anything to talk about.

Clare smiled, and her reminiscing surprisingly lasted her another hour. She didn't even notice that Eli took longer than he said he would, but when he was finally done she plopped down on the floor in exhaustion.

"I never knew standing still for two hours could be so tiring," Clare said with a giggle.

Eli laughed, "Yeah. It's rough work."

"I should really get paid more," Clare said with a wink, making Eli laugh. "Can I see it?"

"Well," Eli said. "You're probably going to have to get up off the floor first."

"But the floor is so comfy!" Clare exclaimed. "I never want to get up!"

Eli smirked. "Maybe I should paint you lying down next time," he said with a wink. Clare simply laughed and shook her head.

"Maybe someday," she said, aware of the hidden meaning of Eli's words.

After a few minutes resting in silence on the floor, Clare finally got up. "Okay, I'm ready to see." She walked over and saw the portrait Eli painted, immediately dumbstruck.

"Whoa. This is effing amazing. God, Eli you are so talented," she said, making Eli blush (again. It seemed like every time she complimented him, Eli got very bashful). Clare leaned down and captured Eli's lips in a sweet kiss that was at first supposed to be chaste, but Eli automatically deepened the kiss. He gripped her neck, pulling her face closer to his, he swept his tongue over her bottom lip and Clare granted him access to her mouth, after taking a nip at his bottom lip. Clare placed her hands on Eli's shoulders, enjoying the unexpected depth from the kiss.

Eli stood up from his chair, still holding Clare's neck, taking her mouth with him. He started to walk over to his couch, and gently eased himself and Clare down, lips still locked. Eli released Clare's neck and his hand brushed her breast. Clare shuddered in pleasure, and Eli took that as a sign to take things a little further. He ran his hand up Clare's side slowly and gently took a hold of her breast, making Clare moan in the kiss.

"Eli," Clare muttered, making Eli grunt in response. "I don't want to go too far, okay?" Eli nodded, moving his mouth to latch onto Clare's neck. "I mean," Clare struggled to form words. "Not today, at least."

Eli nodded again. "Okay," he said, and reattached his mouth to Clare's.

"We can do other stuff though. Just not yet. Definitely someday, though," Clare murmured, still engulfed in the kiss. And just the thought of going any further with Clare made Eli's pants get tighter.

Eli pulled back to look at Clare's face. "Are you…?" he paused.

"A virgin?" Clare asked with a nervous laugh. "No. You?"

Eli shook his head. "Nope."

"Well. I'm glad that's settled," Clare said, and they both went back to attacking each other's mouths.

* * *

><p>"Fuck, Alli!" Clare screeched. "Squash my foot off why don't you!"<p>

"Sorry! Jeez," Alli said, picking up the heavy box off of Clare's foot. "I wouldn't have dropped that box if _someone_ was helping me."

"Sorry babe," Adam said, rushing over to help Alli with her box. "Never start a spitting contest with Eli. He won't quit until he wins," he said with a wink.

Clare wrinkled her nose in disgust but laughed at the immature behavior of the boys. "Isn't that lovely. I'm glad that I found out _now_ that my boyfriend is a cocky bastard. Gives me plenty of time to dump him," she said, winking at Eli, telling him that she was joking. Eli got the message, but played along anyway, and came up to her to give her a big hug from behind.

"Who says I won't dump you first you slob?" he whispered in her ear.

Clare laughed and turned around. "Because you secretly love my messy ways?" she said with a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Got me there…" he said and kissed her again, trying to deepen it a little, but was stopped by Adam pretending to gag.

"If you guys are done," Adam said. "Eli and I have to go unload more of the boxes. You girls can help if you—" But he was cut off by Alli's protests.

"I don't care if I am giving a bad image to feminists, but my little weak arms can't stand anymore of this."

"Okay," Adam said with a smile. "You and Clare can go unpack some of the stuff in the boxes."

"Thanks Adam," Alli said, and kissed him on the cheek. "Love you babe."

"Love you too," Adam said as the girls made their way inside the apartment building.

"Alli, this place is so gorgeous," said Clare once they'd reached the apartment.

"Thanks," Alli replied. "Adam found it. It's pretty much perfect. Except for the fact that there's only one bathroom."

Clare laughed. "You _would_ make that a flaw, wouldn't you?"

Alli nodded her head in agreement. "Yup," she said, making Clare giggle again, and they went into the kitchen and started to unpack the items in some of the boxes.

After a few minutes of unpacking boxes, Alli decided to slice through the silence to ask Clare a question. "How are you and Eli?"

Clare smiled. "We're pretty good. You know…"

"No, I don't know," Alli sarcastically replied. "You guys have been going out for a long time now, haven't you?"

"Alli, it's been a month and a half, at most."

"Well, it's a long time for _you, _Ms. Picky. As long as I've known you, you've never had a real relationship. Just a few blind dates that never amounted to anything."

"Hey!" Clare exclaimed, not in anger, but more defensive than usual. "I've had boyfriends before!"

"Yeah, but none that I've ever seen or heard of. You're very good at telling me very few things," Alli noted.

Clare just shook her head and went on unpacking her box. But of course Alli could never leave anything alone.

"Do you think you love him?"

Clare looked up at Alli, shocked. "It's too early to tell," she said. "You don't think… he loves me do you?"

"I don't know," Alli said. "But what I do know is that the way he looks at you says he's pretty close, if not there yet." Clare blushed. She wasn't sure if she truly loved him yet. But she was definitely on the right path. Every day she spent with him she fell deeper and deeper in… in what? Clare's revelation came fast and quick, like she was hit in the head with a baseball.

She was in love.

* * *

><p>Adam grunted while he dropped another box in the hallway outside the apartment.<p>

"I can't believe you lost your key on the first day you got this thing," Eli said with a laugh, putting a box on top of Adam's.

"I didn't!" Adam protested. "I just… left it in the apartment somewhere. And it's locked. And Alli just happens to _NOT HEAR ME WHEN I ASK HER TO OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR," _Adam shouted the last part, trying to make Alli magically hear him again. No such luck. Adam and Eli made their way back outside to the summer heat and picked up a few more boxes.

"So, Eli," Adam said. "About you and Clare…"

"What about me and Clare?" Eli asked, getting defensive.

"Nothing!" said Adam, not wanting to get on Eli's bad side. "She's really nice, and pretty and everything…"

"You're not looking to steal my girlfriend are you?" Eli asked with his trademark smirk on his face.

Adam chuckled. "Not today, my friend. I just, don't want another Julia to happen."

Eli looked at Adam. "She won't be. She's different," he snapped.

"Okay! Okay! Someone's touchy today…"

"Sorry. I just- I really like her, that's all."

Adam looked at Eli, raising his eyebrow. "Do you love her?"

"It's too early to tell," Eli scoffed. But Eli knew. He's known since they first kissed.

Clare had his heart. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Like, at all. Sorry :(**

**I AM EXTREMELY SORRY. I just finished exams this week and it's been crazy and everything... wait, you don't really care about my excuses now, do you? Haha that's fine.**

**I had more that I wanted to add to this chapter, but I decided to leave that to next chapter. Meaning... I will update either today or tomorrow with an _extremely puny _chapter. Sound good to you? K cool.**

**Reviews seriously make my day. And if you leave me one I will love you I promise. Please leave a review for me? Thanks. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

"That was some fun," Eli said sarcastically as they entered Eli's newly roommate-less apartment.

"Totally," Clare said. "Unpacking boxes and getting all sticky and sweaty is my favorite past time."

"You and me both," Eli chuckled, and pulled Clare in for a sweet kiss.

"I must smell disgusting," Clare said, as they pulled apart, still holding each other.

Eli bent down and smelled her shoulder, then her collarbone, then after he smelled her neck he said, "You smell divine," with a peck on top of her head.

"You're hilarious, Eli. You slay me."

"I'm serious!" Eli said with a smile. "You smell intoxicating."

Clare shook her head and pushed playfully at Eli's chest. "I look like a mess, anyway."

Eli looked Clare right in her big blue eyes and smirked. "You've never looked more beautiful to me."

Clare was sure that Eli could hear her heartbeat through their silence.

"God," she breathed. "You are _such_ a cheeseball."

"Only for you," Eli said, kissing Clare on the top of her head again, making her blush.

Clare shook her head. "I hate you," she said with a large smile on her face.

"Really now?" Eli asked, his smirk more pronounced by now, making Clare's heart double from its already elevated pace.

She nodded. "Yup. And what are you gonna do about it, tough guy?"

Eli shrugged. "I have no idea," he said. But it seemed like he knew exactly what to do, because he leaned in and captured Clare's lips in a world-ending kiss.

Their lips moved in perfect synchronization. And with every second they spent with their lips attached, Clare knew that she never wanted to stop. She just wanted to stay in his arms, hot and sweaty and sticky and just… perfect. It felt like their lips were electric and the shocking sensation traveled up and down her body until she was sure she died from bliss. There were no words that could describe her happiness. She was on Cloud Nine. She was every happy metaphor that had ever existed. She was—

"I love you," Eli said suddenly, breaking their kiss.

She was scared.

Clare looked up at Eli, her eyes searching his to see any hint of falseness in them, but found none.

Trapped, like a deer in headlights, all Clare could muster up to say was "Uhhh…."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah yeah I don't own Degrassi. Whatever.**

**Yeah... told you that would be short haha. I was talking to summersetlights about this, and I was unsure of exactly how... intense it would be. So, let me know!**

**(I'll update soon I promise. I won't leave you hanging for _that _long!)**


	8. Chapter 8

"I have to go," Clare said, breaking herself from Eli's grip.

"Well that's fucking _fantastic_!" Eli exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "What a fucking _great_ response Clare! It's goddamn déjà vu all over again." Clare started sprinting down the hall, with Eli following behind her, stopping at his doorway to say, "Okay fine! Just run away from your problems _again._ Have fun with that!"

Eli's shouting got to be so loud that his next-door neighbor, Ida, swung open her door while holding one of her many cats and gave him the stink-eye.

"What?" Eli asked. "What is it Ida? Did I interrupt you building another fucking shrine for your cats? I am so deeply sorry for ruining your night," he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Eli walked back into his apartment, slamming the door on his way.

CLARE'S POV

She walked down the street, her vision blurring with each step she took. After taking about 20 minutes to walk back to her apartment building, Clare stormed into her room, and broke down on the bed. _How can I be so stupid?_ Clare thought. She didn't doubt that she didn't love him, but the fact that nothing came out of her mouth but an unintelligent "um" made her distrust herself in general.

There was another thing that troubled Clare: she still hadn't told Eli her secret. She had been meaning to for a couple weeks, but something always stopped her from doing it. Either it wasn't the right time or Clare just chickened out. And every time she was with Eli, it's like that part of her never existed. She was just so caught up in pure bliss, that it seemed impossible for something so horrible to ever occur anywhere. There was no way that she would taint their relationship by telling him. And there was a little nagging voice in the back of Clare's mind that told her that if Eli knew the truth about her… he would never want to see her again. He says that he loves her, but did he really mean it? How strong was this so-called "love" anyway? It couldn't be enough to make him stay with her after finding out the truth, and Clare knew that. Practically _nothing_ would keep Eli with her after he knew.

While trying to stop crying, Clare heard a knock on her door. "Hey Clare, you okay?" someone asked, and Clare recognized the voice of Joey, stoned out of his mind.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Clare sniffed. "I just, have a cold."

"Oh, okay," Joey said. He wasn't one of those people who laugh constantly when they get high; he was surprisingly calm. But as Joey started backing out of the doorway, someone pushed him back in, following after him into Clare's cozy apartment.

"Get in there, asshole," said Dee Dee. "Sorry about the intrusion and everything, Clare. But you've been crying for a while now… and we just came to see if everything is all right."

Clare wiped her eyes off with her sleeve. "I'm okay, really. Thanks for your concern, guys. But… I'll be fine." But Dee Dee didn't look convinced (Joey had just been standing there, admiring Clare's curtains. It was obvious that Dee Dee had dragged him along for the ride).

"Well, okay then. I guess I'll just call _Eli _and ask him to come play some COD with me then…"

"That… wouldn't be a very good idea," Clare said, and Dee Dee knew he had just stepped on Clare's emotional landmine.

"Why not?" said Joey, suddenly taking a vague interest in the conversation.

"Because. I screwed everything up with him today," Clare revealed, making Dee Dee feel bad for the girl.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Dee Dee said.

"He told me he loved me, and I ran off. Bad enough for you?"

"At least you didn't run off and marry his best friend or anything, right?" Joey asked jokingly, making Clare laugh a little. "No. No I did not."

"You see? You aren't _that_ fucked up!" Dee Dee encouraged, making Clare laugh a little more now.

"You're right. I would never do that to him."

"Do you love him, though?" Joey asked after Dee Dee elbowed him in the ribs.

Clare smiled, thinking about earlier that day. "Yes. Yeah, I do."

Dee Dee shifted his feet, saying, "Well why didn't you tell him?"

"It's just… it's complicated."

Joey scoffed. "With guys, it's never complicated. You either love him or you don't."

"Yes, but-"

"No buts," Dee Dee said, making Joey giggle. "It's written there in black and white. You love him, he loves you. End of story."

Clare sighed. They kinda did make a point. "All right. I'll tell him."

"Way to go, Clare," said Joey, reaching out and giving Clare a friendly fist-bump.

"Thanks for the unsolicited advice, you guys," Clare said, and Dee Dee merely shook his head, implying that it was no big deal, and the two boys left.

_I'll tell him,_ Clare thought to herself. _But there's something I should tell him first…_ And with that thought, Clare reached over and grabbed her cell phone and dialed Eli's number.

ELI'S POV

"Adam? Hey it's Eli. Just, call me back when you get this message, okay? I kinda fucked up with Clare."

Eli was pissed that Adam's phone was off, but figured that it's his first night at the apartment with Alli so they must be… up to something else.

Eli kept pacing around his newly empty apartment, unable to sit still. _What did I do wrong?_ he kept asking himself, and he knew that it might not have been all about himself. He thought about how much stuff Clare still hadn't shared with him, and how many walls she still kept up. He was aware that she was definitely hiding something from him, and not knowing was slowly driving him insane. He wanted to know _so badly_ what she wasn't telling him, he wanted her to trust him as much as he trusted her. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her. He knew that might never be possible, and she might just end up leaving him, just like Julia.

He hadn't told Clare about Julia yet, and he figured that he had a double standard. He didn't have to tell Clare about Julia, yet Clare was somehow obligated to tell Eli her past? That wasn't fair. But… whenever he was with Clare it was like Julia never existed. To him, nothing outside of Clare existed. It was just her and him, in their own little bubble. No (in)famous exes, no hidden secrets, nothing but innocent happiness.

Eli left the room to go pee, and when he came back he noticed that he had a voicemail from Clare.

"Listen, Eli. I'm really _really_ sorry about what happened earlier. I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something. I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me. I just… I hope that you can give me a chance to explain myself. I promise I'll explain _everything_. If you want to talk to me, which I hope you do, then can you come to my place in 10? Thanks." Eli listened to the message and tried unsuccessfully to not get his hopes up. There was no way he would let himself get too excited if she just told him that she hated him in the end.

But he had to find out, once and for all.

CLARE'S POV

Clare was sitting anxiously by her window, getting her hopes up every time someone walked by.

It's been 11 minutes since she's called him, and she was starting to think he wouldn't show up. She was just about ready to give up hope.

But, as she turned away from the window for a second, she caught someone walking by. Someone familiar. Dressed all in black.

Eli had come.

Clare was over the moon ecstatic.

She rushed down the stairs and threw open the door in a hurry, flinging herself into Eli's arms. He didn't expect that at first, and fell back a little. But he caught himself and wrapped his arms around Clare, holding on for dear life.

"There's something you need to know," Clare whispered in his shoulder.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Own Degrassi I do not. Never have never will. Actually, I own nothing so... yeap.**

**Usually I double check everything before publishing it, but my computer's battery is in the red zone thingamabob and I am very tired, but I felt that I owed this chapter to you guys, so here ya go. An update. Haha. **

**So just let me know if I fucked something up somewhere and I'll change it later.**

**Love you guys (insert heart here, I would make one but stupid FF net deletes the less than sign so... yeah). Please review! xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Clare reluctantly let go of Eli and motioned for him to follow her into the building, but Eli noticed something that bothered him: she didn't hold out her hand for him to take. It was an odd feeling for Eli, having to walk behind Clare when their fingers were not laced together.But he slowly made his way inside the house anyway.

They got up to Clare's floor, and as Eli passed by Joey's room he saw him and Dee Dee sitting on the floor playing cards. They looked up and a knowing smile crossed Dee Dee's face when he saw Eli.

"Nice to see ya again, dude," Dee Dee said.

"Yeah, um… you too," Eli said, unaware of Dee Dee's third party knowledge of his love life.

When Eli walked into Clare's room he noticed that she was already sitting on her bed on the floor. He didn't know whether he was allowed to sit next to her, or if it was better to give her space, since she didn't love him and everything.

"You can sit down, you know," Clare said, seemingly reading Eli's mind. He finally decided to sit down facing her on the floor so that he could see every facial expression of hers.

"Okay," Eli said. "Shoot."

Clare took a deep breath. "You're not going to believe me."

Eli shook his head passively. "Of course I'll believe you. You've given me no reason to _doubt_ you before. Just tell me before you chicken out."

"Fine. Fine," she said, taking yet another deep breath, and it was then that Eli noticed Clare's hands were shaking. He wasn't sure if it would be alright to hold them to help her, but he did it anyway, earning a meek smile from Clare.

"So," Clare started. "I was dating this guy a few years ago, and… are you sure you want to know? There's no going back once I tell you, you know."

"Clare," Eli said, impatiently. "I'm positive. Now quit stalling."

Clare closed her eyes, and Eli could tell that this was a huge struggle for her. "I've never told this to anyone before. Not my parents, not Alli. No one." And he saw a solitary tear make its way down her face.

"Shhh… It's going to be alright," Eli said softly, wiping Clare's tear from her face.

Clare opened her eyes, suddenly determined to tell him, straight up.

"A few years ago," she began. "I was dating this guy, K.C. He was… nice. At first, anyway. He had just gotten out of this supposedly 'bad' relationship, and I wanted to… help him, I guess. I was so naïve. He was my first boyfriend. I was so new to everything, and I thought that we had a somewhat normal relationship. He wasn't normal, though. He emotionally abused me, telling me I was fat and ugly, dumb, mundane, anything he would say to keep me down. I didn't leave him, though. Not even when he occasionally started physically abusing me. That should've been a sign. But I just wanted it to work out with K.C. _so _badly. I would have done almost anything to keep him with me. I even gave up my goddamn purity vow for that bastard. But he told me he loved me, and I believed him like the idiot I was.

"After I started sleeping with him, it seemed like he got better, too. I thought that maybe we had a legitimate future together. But one night… when we stopped at a gas station… K.C. got out of the car, and I thought that he was merely walking to the gas pump, but he walked by it. He started walking towards this… blonde girl, around our age. He… h-he took out a gun, and that's when I knew something was going to happen. I sprinted out of the car, across the parking lot. Looking back now I don't know what I would have _actually _done if I had reached him in time. But I didn't get there. He took out the gun, pointed it at the blonde, at sh-shot her. Twice. In the stomach."

By this time Clare had tears streaming down her face in rivers. Eli was distraught. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back. He quietly whispered in her ear that everything was going to be okay, that he was here now and everything was fine.

"I-I'm not done. There's m-more," Clare said, stuttering.

"You can tell me when you calm down a little more," Eli said, kissing her curls.

"I need to r-rip the bandage… I need t-to rip the b-bandage off," Clare said, ignoring Eli's pleas for her to calm down first. "I was s-so scared. He turned around and gave me this l-look. He looked deranged. I knew K.C. could be m-mean, but I never thought he was… homicidal. I ran away before - before he could do the same… to me. I automatically turned him in to the police, of course. But that wasn't e-enough. K.C. had to go to trial. I was the only witness, too. So everything c-came down on m-me." Clare's whole body was starting to shake, which only worried Eli more, he soothingly rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. "During the trial, I learned that K.C. had been cheating on me with the girl he shot- Jenna, who was also the girl he was with before me. And he got Jenna pregnant. Apparently he b-begged her to get an abortion, so that I w-wouldn't find out, but she refused. So I g-guess he performed his own, fucked up version of an abortion. K.C. was eventually locked up, but before he went, he gave me a warning." Clare's voice was barely above a whisper, and she was staring off into space, reliving the most terrifying moment in her life. "He told me… th-that I was… that I was n-next. He said he would find a way to get out of jail, and that he would… he would h-hunt me down and… kill me."

Now not only was Clare bawling, but Eli had tears escaping his eyes as well. He hugged her closer to him, hoping to protect her in some way from everything. Protect her from K.C. Protect her from the past. He couldn't let anything happen to her.

"I'm not Clare Edwards," she said softly, making Eli's eyes widen.

"What? What do you- wait, what?" Eli said, obviously confused.

"After K.C. threatened to kill me, the police put me in the Witness Protection Program. I-I'm not really Clare Edwards. I'm Elizabeth DePaul." Eli pulled back for a second, and scanned her over.

"You don't look like an Elizabeth," he said, trying to cheer her up. "You look like a Clare."

She gave him a small smile in response. "I moved away from my family, which wasn't hard to do anyway, but that story is for a different day. I picked up everything, and moved from Deline to Toronto. But… I still feel horrible."

"Clare, everything is alright now. You're miles and miles away from K.C., who is still in jail I'm assuming. You're completely safe."

"But Jenna's not. She's dead," Clare said, shaking her head vigorously. "I could've saved her. I could have saved her unborn_ baby_. But I couldn't. It's… it's all my fault she's dead."

Eli stared at Clare in disbelief. He didn't think that she could honestly blame herself for what happened. He was about to tell her the opposite when she said, "I guess you're disgusted with me now. I'll understand if you want to break up."

Eli was even more dumbstruck once she said that. "Clare," he said, turning her face to look at him. Her bloodshot eyes looked defeated and her cheeks were red from all of her crying. "I don't blame you for what happened to Jenna. There was no way that you could have saved her. There was no way _anyone_ could have saved her. K.C. is messed up. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened. I love you, and I still want to be with you," he said, and added, "Even if you don't want to be with me," under his breath, hoping Clare wouldn't hear. But of course, she did.

"Eli, you think I don't want to be with you? The whole reason I told you this was because… because… because I love you. I love you Eli, more than I supposedly loved K.C.; more than I've loved… anyone really."

Eli's heart sped up at hearing those words, and he couldn't process anything else in his mind except for the one thought that engulfed him. _Clare loves me. She _loves _me._ He was overcome with joy, to say the very least. Eli immediately planted his lips on Clare's, wiggling his tongue past her lips, and he realized that there was nowhere he'd rather be, no one he'd rather spend the rest of his life with. The thought scared him out of his wits, but at the same time sent pleasurable shivers down his spine. Or maybe that was just the intensity of the kiss.

They broke apart, and Clare's dazzling smile made Eli even surer that he loved her, and vice versa. But Clare's smile soon faded, and she became very grave.

"Eli, I don't know if this has occurred to you yet, but being with me… it's dangerous. K.C. could get out of jail early for 'good behavior' and track me down. One of his many brothers could come looking for me; those assholes are like basset hounds, I swear to god. But… I don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me."

"I don't want to leave. I'll never leave," Eli said, aware of what he just promised, and he hoped it wouldn't scare Clare away. But he was rewarded with another enthusiastic smile and kiss.

"God, I'll never get tired of that," Eli said as they broke apart.

"I love you," Clare said, making Eli's heart speed up yet again.

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. You know that, I know that. So why do I have to keep repeating myself?**

**Welp, that's Clare's big spooky secret. I hope I didn't fuck it up too much. I really would love your honest opinion on that "plot twist." (oh, and Clare's real name too, I would like to know your opinion on that as well.)**

**Please review and let me know what you think! :D**

**P.S. Sorry I had to make K.C. the bad guy. I know he's probably not homicidal or anything... but I wasn't about to make Jake a bad guy since we know nothing about him anyway. **


	10. Chapter 10

"So… You're not mad at me?" Clare asked that same night, as she was playing with Eli's hair while his head was rested on her lap.

"It's kind of hard to when you're making my head spin," Eli honestly replied. She was driving him crazy with her talented fingers, and Eli couldn't help but wonder whether or not her fingers were that talented in… other places. He was almost positive that they were.

She had _finally _let him in completely. She had_ finally_ showed him the real her. And although he was admittedly worried about how much the past had damaged her, Eli couldn't help but be slightly joyful that she trusted him enough to tell him everything.

Eli's comment earned him a little shove, though. And Clare laughed as she said, "Well, I guess I'll never stop playing with your hair then."

Eli sighed. "I can totally live with that."

A few minutes passed with Clare gently running her fingers through Eli's hair, before she said, "Tell me about your childhood."

"Why?" Eli scoffed, but after Clare gave him an extra convincing pout, Eli succumbed to her wishes. "My childhood wasn't exactly… _exciting _or anything."

"Well then it's a wonder I'm still with you, isn't it. A boring childhood! I can't believe you hid this from me for so long!" Clare exclaimed facetiously.

"Hahah, very funny. But yeah, it wasn't too mind-blowing. I've lived in Toronto pretty much my whole life, and my parents were very dysfunctional, but in the best way possible, if that makes sense. My dad is a DJ for the Solid Rock 98, and my mom works at a retirement home, teaching old people how to paint."

"Oh, so that's how you got into painting then?"

"No, I was just born with this natural talent. _I _taught _my mom_ how to paint," Eli said with a wink, making Clare roll her eyes.

"No siblings?"

"Nope. Just me, Cece, and Bullfrog."

"What about… girlfriends?" Clare asked hesitantly.

"What about them?" Eli asked, playing dumb. But when Clare gave him a look that said 'cut the crap' he sighed in defeat. It was now or never. "I only had one other serious girlfriend. Julia. Remember when I told you briefly of her the first time you came over?" Eli said, and Clare immediately nodded her head in recognition. "Julia and I had been going out since grade 10. She was… extraordinary. Well, at first, anyway. She always encouraged me, and I loved her. I thought she loved me too. But we started fighting a lot, usually about my art. She wanted me to sell my work, but I thought it was too personal. Those paintings were like my kids. But one day after my most successful art show, this dude offered me $50,000 for 3 paintings, and Julia jumped to agree before I could protest. She left me a month later for the same man she sold the paintings to."

Clare contemplated the information for a minute before saying, "Wait, you don't mean Julia _Miller_, do you? Because that painting of yours looks a lot like that actress."

Eli nodded his head. "Yup. That's her."

"You've got to be kidding me," Clare laughed and shook her head. "I'm going to have to live up to a _movie actress_ for crying out loud."

"I don't think you have anything to live up to," Eli answered honestly. "So far you're two totally different people, in the best way possible. Julia was more interested in money and fame. She never really had two feet on the ground. She was never… stable. You've already surpassed her in that sense. Plus you get a lot more of my jokes," Eli said with a small laugh. "Honestly, I've fallen for you a lot faster than I fell for Julia. Just don't tell her that. She's very competitive," Eli teased, giving Clare a wink, making Clare feel better automatically. Knowing that her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was a movie star was intimidating for Clare, but Eli knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. She could tell that it was difficult for Eli to tell her about Julia, and Clare was glad that they were finally telling one another everything. No secrets. Nothing in between them anymore. They could finally just… be.

"What about you?" Eli asked, sitting up on the couch and facing Clare. "Any other boyfriends?"

Clare laughed. "Unless you count my friend Jake when I was 5 years old, then nope. No other boyfriends."

Eli smirked, "Well, what about _your_ childhood? Anything exciting there?"

Clare sighed, and somehow telling Eli about her childhood was a lot easier now that she had told him about K.C. "My mom was an alcoholic. My dad and I had to come pick her up wasted from a different bar every night. She was just a mess. Then when I was around 13 my only sister, Darcy, was raped. She tried to kill herself and eventually moved to Kenya. Pretty… surreal."

"Wow," Eli said. "My boring life makes yours look like an HBO show. I'm so sorry."

Clare shrugged, a few tears brimming in her eyes, "It's not your fault. I've learned to cope with it and… I'll be okay. Eventually."

Eli felt his heart breaking at the words leaving Clare's mouth. He wrapped her up in a bone-crushing hug, hoping that he could shield the perfect girl from all of the horrors of the world. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

Clare choked on a sob. "I love you, too."

Eli leaned in and tried to give Clare a very chaste kiss, but Clare was surprisingly the one to deepen it. Usually Eli was the one to try and intensify their kisses, but her huge confession made Clare want to give herself in to Eli just a little further. She straddled his lap, pushing him back to lie down on her couch. Eli was startled at first, but quickly caught up with Clare, cupping her face with his hands while she played with the end of his shirt. Clare could feel a violent shiver of pleasure spreading itself along her spine as Eli switched to giving her neck long open mouth kisses. She made her hands venture inside Eli's shirt, and smiled to herself as she felt his muscles contract at her warm touch. Eli groaned against Clare's neck as she lifted his shirt up over his head, exploring his body further with her eager hands. Eli moved his hands to the bottom of Clare's shirt, and after she gave him the okay with her eyes, Eli started to unbutton her shirt, leaving them both shirtless. Eli was extremely thrilled that Clare let him get that far. He ran his hands across her shoulders, memorizing every inch of her body that he could, and Clare seemed to be doing the same thing to his body, too. The skin-on-skin exposure was equally magnetizing for both of them, and they were both glued together, longing for more contact. Eli flipped them over so that he was lying on top of Clare, and tentatively reached behind Clare's back looking to her eyes again for permission, and he saw it evident in her dilated, lust-filled eyes that she wanted her bra off as much as he did. Eli unhooked Clare's lime green bra and gradually let his eyes fall on her breasts. Clare blushed, obviously a little embarrassed at being so exposed, but she didn't have to be, because Eli had honestly never seen a more beautiful woman in his life, and he made sure to tell Clare that repeatedly as he started toying with her breasts. Clare moaned at the overbearing pleasure of having Eli's hands playing with her hardened nipples, and tangled her hands in his hair as he began to start teasing her left nipple while he tugged and twisted her right side. He licked his mouth over to her right breast and Clare absentmindedly thrust her hips up into Eli, coming into contact with his growing arousal and making them both groan at the sensation. Clare did it a few more times, now meeting Eli's hips as he pushed himself down to meet her, the friction driving both of them wild.

Eli licked Clare's body back up to her mouth, where he started to slow down the intensity of their make out session. They both knew that they didn't want to go all the way tonight; and the fact that they could both understand each other without having to say anything only testified to the fact that they were closer to each other than they had been with anyone else in their lives.

"Eli," Clare said, still breathing quite heavily. "I love you. More than everything."

Eli gave Clare a dazzling smile, one that was reserved for her and only her, before saying, "I love you, too. More than I thought I could love anything." Clare smiled her own smile that was set-aside for Eli, and gave him another kiss before snuggling into his shirtless arms.

* * *

><p>"It's about <em>time<em>!" Crystal exclaimed. Clare had told her about her conversation with Eli (leaving out the significant details, of course) and Crystal was overjoyed that Clare had finally opened up.

Clare laughed. "You can say that again."

"It's about _t-_"

"Don't _actually _say it again, though," Clare said, rolling her eyes at her eccentric friend.

"Fine, fine," Crystal said, tossing her hands up in the air in defeat. "Anyway, what happened afterward?"

Just as she asked that, a customer came into the store, and Clare didn't feel comfortable speaking about her and Eli's physical relationship in front of a stranger. Once he left Clare turned back to Crystal, anxiously awaiting her answer.

"We made out on my couch and took our shirts off," Clare mumbled under her breath, making Crystal squeal in utter delight. "God!" Clare yelled, covering her ears. "You're worse than Alli!"

"Does he have… strong lips?" Crystal asked, altogether too intrigued in Clare's romantic life.

"How can you tell?"

"Did you feel it in your knees?"

Clare smirked. "I felt it _everywhere_."

"Strong lips," Crystal conceded, apparently getting all the information she needed, and a smack on the shoulder from Clare.

After Clare and Crystal talked for 15 more minutes about nothing in particular, Eli walked into The Deep Pit and greeted Clare with a warm hug, which made Crystal give a dramatic sigh, mocking the two lovers.

Clare stuck her tongue out at her coworker, still within Eli's embrace. "Eli, this is Crystal. She's the manager here. Crystal this is Eli," Clare said, introducing them to one another.

"Hey, Crystal," Eli said, shaking her hand in a friendly manner without letting go of Clare. "Nice hair."

Crystal laughed and started toying with her now purple hair in a braid. "Thank you very much," she said, and then leaned over to whisper in Clare's ear, "This one's a keeper."

Clare blushed, making Eli kiss the top of her head. "She's right, you know," he said, his smirk more pronounced. "I am _such_ a catch."

"Don't get all high and mighty," Clare said, smiling into Eli's chest. "Nobody's perfect." Eli simply shrugged and left the store after saying goodbye to Crystal.

After walking past a few stores, Eli broke their silence. "Nobody but you," he said, confusing Clare for a moment.

"Nobody but me what?" Clare asked.

"You said 'nobody's perfect.' But _you_ are," Eli stated with a smile, making Clare's eyes water, and she stopped walking right in the middle of the sidewalk to give Eli a kiss. For a moment, they forgot where they were. They forgot about everyone around them. The only thing Eli and Clare could remember was the passion they held for one another.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Yeah… I don't own Degrassi. But I was thinking about it last night and I suppose I own the idea of Eli being a painter? But then again, no one can really "own" ideas can they now? But anyway, I don't own Degrassi at all. OR Pretty in Pink. If you paid enough attention you would see my little mini-Pretty in Pink tribute there…. Haha.**

**BLURG I hated this chapter with a passion. I just noticed that ever since the middle of chapter 6 it's all been the same day, and I promise I won't drag anything out like that again haha.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated! **


	11. Chapter 11

"Seriously, where are you taking me?" Clare questioned for the thousandth time as she trailed after Eli, who refused to answer any of her interrogations. He savored the fact that he was keeping Clare in the dark about where they were going, because he loved surprising her. She was possibly one of the most impatient people he had ever met in his life, and just watching her squirm in anticipation put a smile across his somewhat-sadistic face.

"You'll see. Just wait. Try and be patient for once in your life. It'll be worth it. I promise," Eli said with a smirk, and Clare decided to shut up and suffer in silence.

They walked for a few more blocks and Eli suddenly stopped in front of an awning to a small bar. It was more of a hole-in-a-wall than a bar. The evening lights of Toronto seemed to have been unable to reach it, as its darkness seemed contagious. There was a soft hum coming from inside and Clare thought she heard the sound of glass breaking. The brick facade of the building had some graffiti on it, and the door of the establishment had a slew of band stickers stuck on it. And Clare was almost positive that the stain on the bricks next to the door was a sign that someone was too lazy to make it to the bathroom.

"We're not going in there," Clare said, doubtfulness evident in her voice.

"We're not gonna _drink_ or anything," Eli assured her. "My friend's band is playing tonight, and I told him that we'd come and support him and all that crap. And last time I checked you were pretty big on music. Unless that was just a phase."

Clare scoffed at Eli's sarcasm, saying, "Fine. But if some drunk biker guy makes a pass at me, we're leaving."

"If some drunk biker guy even thinks about making any attempt at a pass at you my fist will be in his face faster than he can say 'Is this your boyfriend?'" Eli laughed, and Clare shot him a warning glare, before cautiously making her way inside, Eli protectively behind her.

Despite the fact that the bar looked forbidding from the outside, it was in actuality a very cozy spot. There were a few booths by the back, and the bar had a few guys sitting down, looking less like bikers and more like college students. Clare concluded that it was more of a hipster bar than anything else, and she laughed quietly to herself before sitting down next to Eli at one of the tables in front of the dimly lit stage.

"It seems like we won't have to worry about any drunk bikers out for a fight tonight," Clare said to Eli.

"Yeah," Eli smirked. "They must've heard I was coming and ran for the hills."

"Straight to their mommies arms," Clare added, and smiled at the simplicity of the moment. Finally they were able to simply joke around and be free of the secrets that were weighing on them whenever they were together.

Since there was no backstage in the small bar, once the owner said the name of the band, a few guys stood up from one of the tables and walked to the stage.

The lead singer of the band adjusted the mic awkwardly, and Clare automatically remembered him as Alli's brother. "Hey, I'm Sav, and we're Animated Anonymous." And with that, a blast of sound erupted from their instruments, sending Clare reeling.

"They're really good," Clare managed to yell at Eli during their 3rd or 4th song.

"Totally," Eli agreed. "Sav had this other band in high school called The Stüdz. They were awesome and they were even featured in a movie, but they broke up once everyone went to college and the drummer got married."

"Tragic," Clare joked, placing her hand over her heart. "Wait, how do you know Sav?"

"He helped me score tickets to a Dead Hand concert and we ended up going together with Adam in high school. Been friends ever since. Why?"

"He's Alli's brother."

Eli's eyebrows rose as he said, "Really? Wow. Sav has mentioned having a sister before, but I never thought it would be Alli. He never talked about his family, let alone let me come over to hang out. Alli didn't go to school where we went."

"Where'd you go?"

"Sav and I went to Lakehurst."

"Really?" Clare asked incredulously. "Alli and I went to Degrassi."

"Then I guess we're sworn enemies," Eli laughed.

"I shouldn't even be talking to you!" Clare exclaimed with a smile over the music, making Eli laugh.

Animated Anonymous played for another half an hour before they decided to take a break, and Sav came over to talk to Eli and Clare.

"You guys are amazing," Clare complimented.

"Thanks," Sav said. "This is only one of our first gigs together. I can hardly remember a time when I wasn't switching from band to band anymore." Eli and Clare laughed at Sav's unintentional joke. "I didn't know you guys knew each other."

"Yeah," Eli said sheepishly. "I forgot to tell you, dude. We're going out, actually."

A complete look of joy came over Sav's face; his mouth opened in an excited O and he shook his head. "Bro! Finally!" he exclaimed, lifting his arm up for a high-five, making Clare laugh and blush simultaneously as Eli smacked his hand full force.

"Damn I thought you would never forget Julia! She was a bitch anyway," Sav concluded, making Eli nod in silent agreement, and Clare slipped her hand under the table to interlace her fingers with Eli's. "And it's Clare, too! Alli's best friend in the whole entire world. I always secretly thought you too would've been good together."

"Well you're not the only one," Clare said, rolling her eyes. "Apparently her and Adam have wanted us to get together since the beginning of time."

"And here I was thinking that my sister's crazy, when she and Adam have had the right idea all along," Sav said, making Eli squeeze Clare's hand under the table, giving her a huge smile.

"Anyway," Eli interjected. "You guys are really awesome. Rockin' the face off this place!"

"Totally," Clare agreed. "Did you write all those original songs?"

"Most of them. We collaborated together for a few of them but a lot of them are stuff I wrote."

"Nice," Clare said, and she and Sav started talking about songwriting, a subject Eli didn't know much about but he sat and listened for a few minutes then went to get a couple drinks at the bar. When he came back with a water for Clare, Sav had gone back to the stage to set up for some more songs. Eli handed her the water and went to go tell Sav something really quick. Clare watched as it looked like he was practically begging Sav – but for what, she couldn't say. Eli came back to the table and Clare asked him what that was all about.

"Oh, nothing," he said with a wink, and Clare is about to say something when Sav comes back to the stage.

"Hey everyone. Thanks for staying. This next one is a request from one of my best friends. A good old classic love song." And Sav started to play, Clare recognizing the song immediately.

"Eli, is this _Love_ by John Lennon?"

Eli didn't answer; he instead got up from his chair. "Would you care to dance?"

"There's no dance floor. And no one else is dancing," Clare said, making up useless excuses.

"Who cares?" Eli said as Sav started singing, and swept Clare up into his arms.

_Love is real, real is love, _

_Love is feeling, feeling love, _

_Love is wanting to be loved. _

_Love is touch, touch is love, _

_Love is reaching, reaching love, _

_Love is asking to be loved. _

_Love is you, _

_You and me, _

_Love is knowing, _

_We can be. _

_Love is free, free is love, _

_Love is living, living love, _

_Love is needing to be loved._

Once Sav finished the song, everyone clapped. Not only for him, but also for the couple entangled with one another, swaying side to side.

Clare furiously blushed at the recognition from the bar patrons. "You are the cheesiest romantic I have ever met."

"And you hate that?" Eli said, challengingly.

Clare shook her head. "No. I love it."

"You just can't resist my charm."

"Oh just shut up," Clare said with a smile, and gave Eli a kiss.

* * *

><p>"That was… amazing!" Clare exclaimed as they left the bar.<p>

"I _told_ you that it would be worth it!"

"I should have never doubted you," Clare said as Eli put his arm around her and she gave him another kiss.

"Maybe I should take you out more, if you're going to get this excited."

"Yeah well-"

"Elijah Goldsworthy!" shouted a voice from behind them. "Long time no see!" The girl whose voice it was approached them. She had long dark hair and was wearing what looked like designer clothing to Clare.

"Fiona Coyne! How long has it been!" Eli said, giving her a hug.

"A week?" she suggested with an elegant laugh.

"Too long!" Eli joked.

"Who is your lady friend?" Fiona asked.

"Fiona Coyne, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Clare Edwards. Clare, this is Fiona. We met at OCAD University when I went there. She's majoring in fashion design."

"Hey," Clare said, reaching out to shake Fiona's hand but being startled when Fiona wrapped her up in a big hug,

"You have pretty eyes," Fiona said when they broke from the hug.

"Thanks?"

"Hey! Quit hitting on my girlfriend!" Eli laughed.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you soon, though, right? We simply _must_ catch up."

"Totally," Eli agreed, and with a quick wave, Fiona strutted off in her expensive-looking boots.

"She was nice. Very pretty," Clare concluded somewhat bitterly, starting to walk towards her apartment again.

Catching up to her, Eli could sense her hostility towards Fiona. "Yeah. She's pretty cool. A total lesbian though, so I don't think you have to worry about her stealing your man," he said, glancing over towards Clare with a smirk.

Clare smiled. "I am _not _an insecure, jealous little girl. You realize that, right?"

"I don't know… You look pretty relieved to me," Eli insisted.

"Don't sound so smug," Clare ordered. "Your head will swell."

Eli slipped his arm around her waist again. "Sorry. I'll try and be more humble for your ego's sake," he joked, and Clare stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're lucky I love you," Clare retorted.

"You're right. I am."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and I never will. I totally DO NOT own _Love _by John Lennon either. Although that dude is a musical genius and everything. **

**Don't really have much to say about this chapter... I was going to make it longer and I wanted to put Cece and Bullfrog in there but I guess I'll do that next chapter? Okay cool. Sorry for the wait, too. I was technically on vacation. **

**Happy 4th of July to all the Americans out there! And a late Happy Canada Day for the Canadians, too!**


	12. Chapter 12

**You should read this QUICK Author's Note: There is a time lapse here, but I won't tell you how long, you can decide for yourselves, depending on how much progress in their relationship you personally think Eli and Clare should have, because after this there will be hardly any time lapses at all.**

* * *

><p>Clare was holding on to Eli's hand for dear life. "You don't have to do it, you know," she tried to tell him.<p>

"Clare, I do. It's not that big of a deal, I'll be right back I promise," Eli assured her, and slowly removed his hand from her vice grip and got out of the car and walked over to the gas pump, putting his credit card in the little slot. But he wasn't out by himself for long, because Clare jumped out of the car and ran over into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

"It's going to be okay," Eli comforted, stroking Clare's hair and simultaneously putting the pump in his car. "I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen. Shhh…" And Clare just shook her head and tried to get closer to Eli, engulfing herself in his distinct scent. Ever since the K.C. incident, one of her greatest irrational fears was gas stations. She was so paranoid that K.C. would just randomly show up and kill her. Or worse, kill Eli and leave her grieving and feeling guilty for the rest of her life.

Clare let herself embrace Eli until Morty's gas tank was full, and reluctantly let go of him to climb back into the hearse.

Eli got in and took Clare's hand in his. "You see? Everything turned out okay. We're all alive and fine," Eli cooed, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, trying to calm her down. "Now we can make it to my parents' house without Morty stopping in the middle of the road." Clare gave a weak smile in return, and Eli pulled her hand to make her scoot closer to him, tugging her into his chest and kissing her hair. "I love you, you know."

"I know," Clare sighed, leaning up to peck Eli on his jaw. "I love you too. Thanks for putting up with me."

"Anytime," Eli responded while putting Morty in drive. "Now let's get out of here."

"Will do."

* * *

><p>As Eli pulled up to his parents' house, Clare's nerves came back out to mess with her again. "They're not going to like me," she concluded automatically.<p>

"Are you fucking crazy?" Eli asked incredulously. "They're going to adore you. I promise. And if they don't then I guess I'll just have to hand them over to an old folk's home earlier than I expected. No big deal."

"I'm sure they'd love that immensely," Clare laughed, and slowly made her way out of the hearse, in no rush to meet Eli's parents. He had hardly told her about them, and she was anxious about meeting them. She could feel her palms start to sweat a little bit with each step she took to the door. But she felt Eli catch up to her side and his presence alone helped her calm down as she interlaced her fingers with his, not caring about her sweaty hand. They walked up to the door and just as Eli was reaching out to knock, the door was swung open with un-human force.

"Elijah! What a surprise seeing you here! And with such a pretty girl, too!" exclaimed a petite blond woman at the door. "She's not insane, is she?"

"No, Cece. As far as I can tell, Clare is 100% mentally stable," Eli groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Then why is she going out with you?" Cece asked with a wink, making Eli roll his eyes for the second time.

"Um," mumbled Clare, who was waiting for a chance to introduce herself. "Hi, Mrs. Goldsworthy. I'm Clare," she said, holding out her hand, but being ambushed with a hug not unlike the one Fiona had given to her.

"Clare, honey, please call me Cece. If my own son can call me by my first name, you are certainly welcome to," Cece assured, and Clare nodded her head, still feeling a little bit on edge. "Well come on in!" Cece continued. "We usually keep Eli locked up in the back, but we can make an exception for company," she joked with a wink, making Clare laugh and Eli roll his eyes (yet again).

Clare and Eli made their way into his childhood home, and Clare automatically saw where Eli got his unconventional behavior. The walls were not only full of family pictures, but posters of some of her favorite bands were plastered everywhere, and Clare could tell she would be quite comfortable with Eli's parents.

"Sit, sit," Cece insisted, and continued once Clare sat down on the couch next to Eli. "So, Clare, Eli says that you're into music?"

"Yeah," Clare responded. "I work at this record store, The Deep Pit. And-"

"Oh you work there?" asked a big burly man, coming out of the kitchen. "I love that place! You know that chick with the fucking crazy hair? She's hilarious! And she loves my radio show so she lets me have a bunch of free shit, too."

"Oh yeah, Crystal. She's the best," Clare agreed.

"I'm Bullfrog," he said, and captured Clare in yet another hug, which at that point she had finally gotten used to.

"I'm Clare," she said, still muffled in Bullfrog's chest.

"I know!" Bullfrog rejoiced. "Eli has told us so much about you! Lovely, lovely Clarabelle."

"Dad. Shut up, please," Eli sighed, already overly exasperated by his parents.

"C'mon, son! We're just trying to make little Clare here feel welcome."

"Yeah, what's wrong with trying to welcome our future daughter-in-law to the family?" Cece agreed, making Clare blush a furious red.

"Shit, mom! Can you please just calm down and let Clare breath a little? She has hardly said two words and you two are jumping her like vultures."

"Okay, we'll back off," conceded Cece. "Sorry Clare. Our enthusiasm can be so intimidating sometimes."

"No, it's totally okay," Clare insisted, glad that his parents were overly enthusiastic about her rather than excessively judgmental.

"I knew from the second I saw her that I'd like this girl!" Cece said, pulling Clare into another side hug.

"Thanks," Clare said with a nervous laugh. "You guys are pretty cool, too. I love the posters everywhere."

"They're pretty bitchin'" Bullfrog concurred. "They all tell a specific story. Like this one," he said, walking over to a Clash poster. "I got this when Cec and I went to see The Clash at Shea Stadium. Best night of my fucking life," Bullfrog said proudly, until he noticed his wife staring daggers at him. "I mean, the _second _best day of my life. After I married Cece." Cece shook her head. Bullfrog was close, but not close enough. "Third!" he cried, after he figured it out. "Third! After the day of my wedding and the birth of my son." Cece finally smiled at her husband, as he had finally figured it out.

"Good boy, Bullfrog. You figured it out, almost all on your own!" Cece teased, giving him a peck on the lips.

"It's a good thing you didn't marry me for my brains," Bullfrog joked back, a large smile on his face, pulling Cece in for a hug. It was almost like they'd forgotten that their son was there with his girlfriend, and Clare was marveling at their love. Her parents were never like that. Her mom was always drunk off of her ass every night, and her dad was always afraid that if he left her she would spiral even more out of control. But Clare could tell every day that her father was miserable, and she pitied him more than anything. But seeing a marriage this happy was a new experience for Clare altogether, and she was mesmerized and perplexed at the same time as to how they could stay together and love each other so much for so long.

Cece and Bullfrog seemed to snap back into reality. "So, we ordered dinner and it actually came right before you two got here. I hope it's okay with you, Clare that we got Indonesian. Grilled tempeh is Eli's favorite," Cece explained.

"Sure… Cece. That sounds great."

"Great," said Bullfrog, clapping his hands together and rubbing them together as he made his way to the dining room. "Let's all dig in."

Eli and Clare hung back for a second, as Cece and Bullfrog were already in the kitchen, getting out all of the plates and glasses.

"I think… they like me?" Clare stated unsurely.

"I'm pretty sure they love you," Eli laughed at Clare's uncertainty. "And how could they not?" he said, wrapping her up in a hug.

"I've been getting a lot of hugs lately, haven't I?" Clare quipped.

"I know!" Eli agreed. "I should be the only one that gets to hug you like that!" Clare laughed and pulled herself from Eli to go into the kitchen, but she stopped short when she felt his hand in the back pocket of her jeans. She turned around and gave him a death stare.

"What?" Eli asked innocently, pretending that he was doing nothing wrong.

"I usually wouldn't have any complaints, but your parents are right in the other room, and I don't want them to think anything," Clare uttered menacingly, while pulling Eli's hand out of her back pocket.

Eli sighed dejectedly. "Fine. God, I just can't say 'no' to you, can I?"

"No, you can't," Clare smiled, pecking him on his lips. "Now lets go eat dinner with your folks, okay?"

* * *

><p>They had all been talking non-stop throughout the dinner. Bullfrog would go on and on about stories from his rock and roll "glory days" while Clare listened excitedly. Then Eli and Cece would talk about painting and argue about Impressionism and Abstract Expressionism until Bullfrog asked them both to "shut the fuck up before you bore Clare and me to death," he so eloquently put it.<p>

After they finished, Clare complimented Cece on the meal, even if she didn't make it.

"Only the best for our son's girlfriend," Cece said cheerfully.

"Yeah, that's why we ordered out," Bullfrog teased, earning himself a smack on the back on the head from his wife. "Ouch!" he cried, rubbing the back of his head. "Did I really deserve that?"

"You had it coming, Bullfrog," El said, laughing at his dad's misfortune.

"Cece, do you need help with the dishes or anything?" Clare suggested, but Cece denied her offer.

"Bullfrog and I have it covered, sweetie. You've been a joy today, you don't have to do the dishes. You can go and see Eli's room, instead."

"Okay. Just let me know if you need me to help with anything," Clare said, trying to be polite. Even if they were quirky, Clare still felt that she ought to have good manners around them.

"We'll let you know," Cece said with a smug smile.

Her and Eli scurried up to his room, and he closed and locked the door behind them. Clare turned around to see a fairly neat room* with music posters covering the walls, and a large poster of a Jackson Pollock painting above his bed.

"Impressive," said Clare, referring to the Pollock.

"Thanks. It's been there since I was in 9th grade probably. He's always been one of my favorite painters."

"Yeah he's pretty great," Clare agreed, sitting down on his bed.

"You want to watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, why not? What harm would a movie do?"

* * *

><p>Clare was balled up on the couch, hiding her face in her knees in fear while Eli was leaning forward, totally engrossed in the movie.<p>

"Clare, you're missing out on the whole movie," Eli said, shaking her until she raised her head little by little from her knees.

"I hate this movie," Clare complained. "Why do people find getting the shit scared out of them entertaining? I will never comprehend that at all."

"Because it's awesome," Eli simply stated. "You don't have to get it. Just watching it with me is enough."

Clare sighed. "It's still freaky." Eli laughed and pulled her into his lap, giving her a kiss and then turning his attention back to the movie. Clare just laid her head on Eli's shoulder and tried to focus on his heartbeat. She would whimper every time she heard someone scream, but decided it was best to not look at what was going on on the screen. Eli noticed her discomfort and started to soothingly rub her back, at the same time subtly pushing her shirt up farther and farther up.

Clare noticed his actions, and lifted her head from Eli's shoulder. "Oh I see how it is now. Get me scared so you can take advantage of me. Smooth move, Goldsworthy. Smooth move indeed."

"The smoothest," Eli said, and she could see from his darkened eyes that his mood had shifted significantly.

Eli lifted Clare's shirt from her body, keeping eye contact with her the entire time, and Clare took Eli's shirt off after he was done. At first, the two just stared at each other, neither making a move. But after a minute or two, Eli broke and crashed his lips onto Clare's, and she moved to straddle him as he fell back on his back on the bed. Their hands moved hurriedly over one another's bodies as teeth clashed and groans escaped their mouths.

Clare started kissing Eli's neck, planting small pecks down until she reached his Adam's apple, where she started sucking, much to his surprise. Eli let out a throaty moan, encouraging Clare even more. As she kept sucking on his Adam's apple, Clare moved her hand down Eli's chest until she reached his pants, which she hastily unbuckled and practically shoved her hand inside. Eli let out a louder groan as Clare squeezed and started stroking his already hard member. Through the hazy fog of his approaching orgasm, Eli was able to undo Clare's pants as well and he started massaging her clit, making Clare also whimper and squirm on top of him. He inserted a finger in her pussy, and started pumping in and out, but it was awkward to do so when her pants were still on, so he just pushed them farther down her legs until he could easily reach her dripping center.

"E-Eli," Clare mewled. "God! Your fingers feel… so good."

"I could say… the s-same for you," Eli said, struggling to get his words out.

Suddenly, Clare stopped, making Eli huff in frustration. But she pulled his pants and boxers off all the way, helping him kick them off, and slithered her way up his body to his throbbing cock.

"Clare, what are you – oh. Oh! Oh my _fucking god._" Eli blurted, as she took his penis into her mouth, sucking hard. Clare looked up at Eli sensually, and started humming one of her songs, bobbing her head in rhythm with it. He could feel himself reaching his peak, and he came hard after Clare gave one long hard suck.

Clare swallowed Eli's cum and leaned up. "You're a lot bigger than K.C. was," she said with a devious smirk, but Eli quickly wiped it off her face when he rolled to straddle her, switching places. He did exactly what she had done just a few minutes earlier, completely taking off her pants. Eli kissed up her thighs until he reached her now drenched center. He started licking away at her juices, then switched to tonguing her clit aggressively.

"Fuck!" Clare exclaimed, grasping for the sheets as she closed in on an extremely intense orgasm. She could feel her whole body shake as Eli pushed his tongue inside her, wiggling it around, taking it out, and repeating, adding his thumb to circle around her clit.

"Oh my GOD!" Clare screamed as she reached orgasm, her vision blacking out as she rode it out, with Eli's tongue lapping up her spilling juices.

Eli smirked at Clare. "How was that?" he asked smugly.

"Amazing," Clare said simply, not being able to snap back at him.

"You kids okay in there?" Bullfrog asked, tapping on the door. "It sounds like someone's dying or something," he joked, and Clare could literally feel her face turning a deep shade of red.

"Fuck off, Bullfrog," Eli said, and snuggled up to Clare. And she could've sworn she heard Bullfrog say, "Fucking kids these days. No respect," outside the door as he walked away.

* * *

><p>It seemed like it had been years since Clare had modeled for Eli, but it had only been a couple days. She was lying down on Eli's couch as he painted her with watercolors, as opposed to the usual acrylic paints that he preferred. They sat in silence for a long while, just enjoying the simplicity of the evening.<p>

Once he was finished, Clare got up and stretched her back. "And I thought lying down would be less annoying," she joked. "Is my back supposed to hurt this much for someone my age?" she asked, making Eli laugh.

"Just get over here. I want you to see this one," Eli urged, and Clare sauntered her way over to the easel.

"Holy shit," Clare said, surprising Eli.

"A curse, escaping from the lips of Saintly Clare Edwards? Color me surprised!" Eli joked, but Clare was too caught up in his painting to respond to his mocking.

"Oh my god Eli, this is the most amazing painting I've ever seen you do."

"Does that mean you've hated all of my paintings up to this point? I am offended! Do you even think I'm a good painter?"

"Eli, I love you but can you be quiet for like, two minutes please? Thanks," Clare said, and Eli pouted, but allowed Clare time to look at his painting in silence. He had worked harder on that single painting than probably any other piece he's done. The lighting inside his apartment was perfect, and everything just seemed so perfect.

"Clare?" Eli asked, hopefulness etched in his voice.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to show my art in a gallery," he said, and Clare tackled him in a huge hug.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.**

**I just want to apologize for totally botching Cece and Bullfrog. I just can't write them I'm sorry I suck hahah.**

**Just... fyi. I'm kinda falling out of love with this story. It's just, my writing seems stale in a way, and I feel like I'm dragging it on and on and on. So I might end it earlier than I thought I would. Don't worry, it's not like I won't finish it or anything. But, it might be shorter than I expected it to be. **

**Anyway, this is the last fluffy chapter. Next chapter is when shit starts going down. Yeah. I just felt like they ought to have **_**some **_**happy times before everything fucks up. **

***Eli isn't a hoarder because Julia never died so yeah I'm a lazy fuck whatever. Come at me, bro.**

**Review, please? For me?**


	13. Chapter 13

It had come faster than they both had expected, but Eli's show was coming up soon. He didn't have trouble finding a venue, because Gallerywest remembered him and were more than happy to give him a show. It also helped that the originally scheduled recent show was cancelled due to the fact that the artist had suddenly dropped everything and moved to Sweden.

"Hey Eli!" Clare called over the blasting music. "Did you find your tie?"

"Yeah," said Eli, strolling into the living room, having a visible altercation with his black tie. "But… can you tie it for me? Some people were born with two left feet, but I unfortunately was born with two left hands."

Clare laughed. "What's the damage this time?" she asked while rolling her eyes and turning down the music.

"Have I ever told you," Eli said while walking over to Clare, "that I am so utterly thankful that I have a girlfriend who can actually tie my _fucking_ tie?"

"Not lately," Clare said with another chuckle. "But I do like to hear it."

While Clare was busy with his tie, Eli started attacking her neck, kissing it anywhere and everywhere that it was exposed. It wasn't hard, because Clare was wearing a simple sleeveless black dress that went down to right above her knee, and with a low (but not too low) neckline Eli could reach anywhere he wanted to on her neck. But Eli wasn't focused on her dress at the moment. "I'm sure you do," he mumbled into her neck before traveling up and kissing behind her ear, making Clare noticeably shiver. "If you keep doing that we will never make it to your opening," Clare said, but it sounded more like she was convincing herself, more than Eli.

"I'm willing to take that risk," Eli said happily, pulling himself away from Clare's neck and planting a kiss on Clare's lips that she responded to eagerly.

After a minute or two, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily. Clare slowly opened her eyes to gaze into Eli's lust-filled ones, and she was completely engulfed by their intensity and love. She could feel herself losing control already.

"Eli, I'm ready," Clare stated, her voice determined and stubborn.

"You and me both. Let's head out of here," Eli said oblivious to what she meant, and took her hand, leading her to the door.

"No, that's not what I meant," Clare argued, stopping Eli before he could reach the door. "I meant: I'm ready. To have sex. With you. After your opening. Tonight."

"Are you serious?" Eli asked skeptically, he didn't want to get his hopes up, to have Clare shoot him down with a demoralizing 'YOU JUST GOD PUNK'D!'

"Completely," Clare said, nodding her head. "Why? Don't I sound serious?"

"Like a heart-attack," Eli said, smiling, and picked Clare up in a hug and spun her around in a cheesy fashion that was fit for a chick flick.

"So is that a yes?" Clare giggled after Eli had finally placed her feet on the ground again.

"It was never a question," Eli pointed out with a wink.

"Eli," Clare stated, staring into his eyes and taking his hands in hers. "Will you have sex with me?"

"I'll sleep on it," Eli joked, making Clare puck a mock scowl on her face, before he shouted out in a tiny feminine voice, "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!"

"Damn, Eli. I asked you to sleep with me, not to marry me," Clare teased, shoving his shoulder playfully.

"Okay, okay, okay. Enough with the joking," Eli said, making Clare gasp. "_You _of all people want to stop… _joking_? Where is the man I fell in love with?" Clare mocked, placing the back of her hand on her forehead, pretending to almost faint.

"Haha very funny. But seriously, we have to get going. If we don't get there before everyone else then we are screwed," Eli said, and reached for his keys before heading out the door with Clare by his side.

* * *

><p>"Shit. There's a lot of people here," Adam said to Eli as he picked up some more cheese from the refreshment table.<p>

"I know," Eli agreed. "I have never seen this many people in here before. It's usually not this busy at all. It wasn't even this crowded for my first show."

"Well, maybe you are just _that_ good of an artist," Clare said, coming up from behind Eli and putting her arm around his waist.

"Maybe it's just because _you_ are that beautiful," Eli flattered, and Clare blushed before he stole a quick kiss from her.

"PDA!" Adam screeched. "Get the PDA police over here, ASAP!"

"Adam cool your jets," Alli said, suddenly appearing next to him. "You're just bitter because you couldn't make out with me in front of a few dozen strangers." Adam rolled his eyes, taking Alli away from Eli and Clare to go to the "bathroom," but everyone knew they were going to go fool around in one of the stalls.

"Eli, dude!" Sav exclaimed, approaching them after talking to a red headed art reviewer. "You are an amazing artist! This stuff is pandemic!"

"Thanks man," Eli said, pulling Sav into a bro-hug. "It's awesome that you came! Who were you talking to over there?"

"Oh that's Holly J Sinclair," Sav admitted sheepishly. "She's an art review. Here to um… review your art."

Even with his darker skin color, Clare could see the tiny hint of a blush creeping up on his cheeks. "You like her, don't you?" she asked cheekily.

"What? No! Of course not!" Sav said, and his barely noticeable blush got more and more pronounced by the second.

"The man doth protest too much, methinks," Eli said, side glancing over at Clare and loving the absolute torture and embarrassment that they were putting Sav through.

"Come on, guys. Can you just shut up please?" Sav begged. "She's coming over here. Just, please don't embarrass me in front of her."

"Sure thing," Eli said, sarcastically saluting Sav like a soldier as Holly J strutted confidently toward the group.

"Eli Goldsworthy?" she asked, and waited for Eli to confirm it with a nod before she continued. "I'm Holly J Sinclair. I write for the Toronto Sun."

"Congratulations," Eli said smugly, unimpressed with the girl's overly cocky attitude.

"Thank you," she said condescendingly. "Anyway, I understand that this is the first show you've done in a few years?" she asked, sticking a recorder in Eli's face.

"It's been… a while," Eli said, pushing the recorder away from his face.

"And why did you wait so long? From the research I have done it seems like your paintings were very well received the last time you showed. Why come out of hiding now? Why hide in the first place?"

"I just was missing… something," Eli stammered hesitantly.

"Missing what?" Holly J asked. Eli was aware that reporters were supposed to be curious, but her in-your-face style was really bugging him.

"I just needed a muse," he smirked, and looked over at Clare subtly.

"Ah, yes. The infamous 'muse.' I've heard of your thing with Julia Miller."

"Why is that so 'infamous'?" Eli questioned, now starting to get a little protective.

"Oh nothing…" Holly J stalled. "It's just that… your muses don't have a tendency of _sticking around_, do they?"

"Oh so just because Julia ran off on me, suddenly I'm a repellant for all muses everywhere?" Eli said, his voice growing in intensity.

"Eli, calm down," Clare soothed, rubbing slow circles on Eli's back and perceptibly settling him down.

"Listen," Eli continued. "I don't care if you write for the fucking New York Times. I don't want to talk about Julia, and you can't make me. No one can make me."

Holly J grinned widely. "I don't think you're going to be able to avoid her for much longer," she said, smugness etched in her voice.

"And why is that?" Eli challenged.

"She's here."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. And anyone who thinks I do is delusional and should get their brain checked out.**

**Paint My Heart Instead, now rated M for your reading pleasure! Probably should've changed it before but I forgot. Sorry.**

**Congrats to everyone that predicted that Julia was coming back. I'm pretty sure the only person to guess it was FlybyNoon, but other people were probably thinking it, too. She was just the only one to state it. Snaps for Holly!**

**Who wants to review? Whoop whoop! I know you do!**


	14. Chapter 14

"Excuse me?" Clare asked incredulously.

"Yeah, she's right over there," Holly J pointed, her smug face still showing how overly pleased she was with herself.

Clare and Eli looked over to where she was pointing, and sure enough, as plain as daylight, there she was. Julia Miller was standing right in the middle of the room, staring straight at them. She was wearing a skintight red dress that left little-to-nothing left for the imagination, and Clare just felt intimidated standing 40 feet away from her. Her long, straight, black hair was done up in a messy bun, something Julia secretly knew was Eli's favorite hairdo of hers. Seeing that both of her targets had locked on to her gaze, Julia strutted purposefully towards them, overconfidence exuding from her body.

"Oh my god! E!" she squealed when she finally reached them. "It's been too long!" Julia leaned in to give Eli a friendly kiss but he backed away from her in disgust, and she shrugged it off as if she was too famous to even care.

"What are you doing here," Eli questioned in a cold monotone. "And do _not_ call me 'E.' you know exactly how much I hate it."

"Aw now _E_," Julia said, egging Eli on. "I can't come over to my favorite ex-boyfriend's art show? The one who arguably jump started my career?"

"Can you just leave? Now please?" Eli pleaded. "It's been great without you and I don't need you fucking everything up."

Julia pretended to contemplate Eli's offer, biting the corner of her lip. "Nah… I'm good staying right here," she said with in a haughty manner.

All throughout Julia and Eli's tense conversation, Clare was just standing there awkwardly next to Eli, seemingly invisible to both of them aside from Eli's growing death grip around her hip. But suddenly Julia seemed to just notice Clare. "Is this the new one?" she asked, and Eli's already reddening face turned almost purple. "Don't trust him, you know. He'll throw you away once he makes his money off of you," Julia said, getting closer to Clare's face with every word she said.

"Hilarious," Clare retorted, trying to remain calm. She usually wasn't a very violent person but Clare figured that she could easily make an exception for Julia. That is… if she was really crossing the line…

Julia smirked, and it seemed tainted for Clare. It was a fake smirk. A trick. The kind of smirk a cat would give a mouse before it devoured the mouse in one single swift bite. "Sweetie. Do you think I'm joking?"

"Do you think I'd actually _believe _you in the first place?" Clare asked incredulously. "Hmmm… boyfriend's ex-girlfriend… or boyfriend?" she said, placing her hands palms up and moving them up and down, pretending that the two options were on either hand. "I think I'll trust my boyfriend, thank you very much."

"Oh my god, E," Julia said, turning her attention back over to Eli, her mood significantly changing. "You really love picking the naïve and innocent girls don't you? Lucky _I _grew up. Can't say the same for this little bitch."

"Okay, Julia! That's it! You have to leave right now," Eli seethed, he was trying to not attract attention but it seemed impossible when an A-list Hollywood actress was insulting his girlfriend.

"It's a free country," stated Julia with a satisfied grin, and walked over to one of the paintings. "Wow. And I thought you sucked when _we_ were together. God you are even worse now! Why that bastard wasted 50 grand on you I'll never understand. But at least I was _in_ those ones."

Eli was gritting his teeth the whole time Julia was speaking. "Oh my god how much I wish I was allowed to hit girls right now," he mumbled to Clare, who herself was extremely irate.

Clare crossed her arms and started walking over to Julia, ready to calmly ask her to leave. But she didn't even get a word in edgewise before Julia swiftly turned around, with another fake smile on her face.

"Clare, honey, don't be under the impression that you two are going to last," Julia said through tightened lips, making hardly any sound. "Eli isn't… a faithful guy. You know that, right? Have you guys slept together yet?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Clare shot back.

Julia's fake grin widened even more with sincerity. "I thought not. I didn't put out right away either. Turns out he had been cheating on me for a few months."

"You're lying," Clare said, shaking her head and trying to rid her brain of all negative thoughts coming to her mind.

"Am I?" Julia said, coming dangerously close to Clare and whispering in her ear. "If he cheated on _me_, it's only a matter of time before he cheats on you. I mean, look at you. You are an untalented, ugly, waste of a human being."

And with that, Clare slapped Julia across her face.

* * *

><p>CLARE'S POV<p>

"I still say she got what she deserved," Clare stated once she had calmed down. After seeing the slap Eli practically froze, leaving Alli, Adam, and Sav to quickly jump in front of Clare before she gave Julia a _true_ beating. "I mean, it was only one small bitch slap! Poor Hollywood can't take it?"

"Clare! Do you _seriously _realize what you just did?" Alli asked her, still in disbelief. "You just slapped _Julia fucking Miller._ Also known as one of the biggest actresses in Hollywood. Ever heard of her? Starred in _Heat Rash_ and _The Princess's Veil_? You are going to be all across the front fucking page!"

"Alli," Clare comforted, putting her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Breathe. It'll be all right. There were no paparazzi there, and if there was then it's okay, because this is just gossip and it'll blow over as soon as you can say Brangelina."

"I find it hilarious that you are the one calming her down after what just happened," Adam pointed out, making Sav laugh and Alli glare at him. "What? Just pointing out the obvious!"

"Gee, thanks love," Alli said sarcastically, which Adam answered back with a sarcastic smile of his own.

"Did you guys see where Eli went?" Clare asked, and when everyone shook their heads no she said, "I had better go see if he's okay." And she ran off to go find him.

ELI'S POV

"Eli! Did you see what she did to me?" Julia screeched after Clare had been dragged off.

"Calm down Julia," Eli said, and grabbed her arm, hauling her into a more secluded spot near the bathrooms so that she wouldn't make even more of a scene. "What did you say to her?" he asked, infuriated.

"I didn't say anything! She just up and slapped me for no reason!" Julia said, she was bawling at that point, her expensive makeup streaming down her face.

"I know Clare, and she definitely wouldn't have done anything like that if she wasn't severely provoked."

"Well, you obviously don't know your girlfriend that well. Because she is a fucking psycho."

"Shut up now or I will be forced to go psycho on you," Eli gritted through clenched teeth. "Clare is better than you can ever dream to be. She's perfect in every way. I love her and she loves me. End of story."

Julia laughed and shook her head. "Not quite Eli. You forget about the girl that swoops in at the last minute to steal the boy."

"You and I mist be watching different movies," Eli said. "Because that never happens you deluded, washed up, ass of an actress."

"Cut the crap, Eli," Julia said, waving away his last comment as if it were a stupid insignificant fly. "You know why I'm here. Don't make me say it out loud."

"Honestly, I wish I knew what you wanted so I could just give it to you so you could fucking leave."

"You can't get rid of me that easily, E," Julia said, and then paused and waited for Eli to grasp what she wanted, but after a minute of him still not getting it she gave in. "I want you."

"Bullshit," Eli scoffed. "No, you don't! You just want to make me miserable! Again! You can't stand seeing me happy! Just go back to your ivory tower in La-La-Land and leave Clare and me alone."

"I can't, Eli. My movie career is slowly going down a downward slope, and my money is practically all gone! I don't have anyone!"

"You have that collector. What's his name? James Julani?"

"He left me," Julia stated. "Wasn't young enough for the old bastard anymore."

"Boo hoo," Eli said mockingly. "Now if you would just leave then-"

"I still love you, Eli," Julia interrupted. "I never stopped."

Eli was silent for a moment, surprised for just an instant, but then once his brain properly computed the information he started to get angry. "How is that even possible? You hardly loved me when we were _together_! You were miserable! I was even more miserable trying to get you to be happy with me! And now you come back, saying you 'still love me' after all of this time. How fucking unrealistic is that? And how can you still love me? I am treating you like _crap_ if I do say so myself. And it should be expected, because you insulted my girlfriend. Whom I currently love and am even willing to marry, and—" And of course, Julia cut Eli off with a kiss, making Eli freeze for about the third time that night.

And immediately after Julia had attached her lips to Eli's, Clare had found them.

"Oh my god," Clare said, catching them completely out of context. "I can't believe this. I can't believe it. You were right, Julia. I'm leaving. Goodbye," she said surprisingly calmly. And right before she walked away, tears already starting to escape her eyes, Clare turned back. "Oh, and Eli? Do us both a favor and never talk to me again. I never want to see your shitty face as long as I live."

Clare felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She felt as though it wasn't beating anymore, and that any moment she could collapse on the floor. _How could he do this to me?_ she thought to herself as she pushed past all of the gallery goers. She could feel her body start to slowly get angry with her. She was sick to her stomach. She had a headache the size of Niagara Falls. And to top it all off she felt as if her feet were slowly going to fall out from under her, leaving her helpless. Which is how she felt: helpless. The one person she had told _everything _to had betrayed her. She thought she could trust him, but then he goes and sucks face with Julia. She wanted to throw up on the sidewalk.

Stumbling, and with her vision completely blurred with tears, Clare was unable to see where she was going on such an unfamiliar street. And while trying to unsuccessfully maneuver he way through the Saturday night crowd, Clare bumped into a large figure. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Clare Edwards," the voice said, and Clare recognized it almost immediately.

"Holy crap."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own Degrassi. What of it?**

**So super sorry for such a late update. I updated right before I went to camp for a week and I've still been recovering and stuff. I usually take a while to update anyway, and for that I'm sorry.**

**Who could that person be? My theory is that it's Jenna back from the dead. Who's with me?**

**P.S. What about that episode? Loved it! I'm super sad/nervous for tomorrow but hopefully _I can make it through_. … See what I did there?**

**P.P.S. I just realize that this was a depressing and dramatic chapter for Eclare, and this coupled with tomorrow's episode really sucks, doesn't it? Lol sorry about that…**


	15. Chapter 15

"How did you-? What did you-? What-" Clare stuttered, but was cut off.

"Awww. You're just as articulate as I remember. Different haircut, though. And what ever happened to those _sexy_ glasses you never took off? Did you think I wouldn't be able to find you if you had a complete makeover? And changing your name didn't really work either, did it Clare? Or should I say, _Liz_zy?"

"K.C. you need to get out of here," Clare said, trying to remain composed in front of her convict ex-boyfriend.

"Or what?" K.C. challenged. "You'll beat me up all by yourself? You forget Clare," he said, reaching in his jacket and subtly showing her his knife, making sure passing people on the sidewalk wouldn't see. "I have ways of making people _go away._"

Clare started backing up, everyone around them oblivious to what was going on. "Please," she begged. "Please, you have to leave."

"Why?" whined K.C. "I just got here! This is my first time ever in eastern Canada! You need to show me around!" he said, hoping Clare would fall for his bait easily.

Clare sighed. "Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, then I will slit your throat right here in front of everyone," K.C. said menacingly, getting too close to her face.

"Fine," squeaked Clare. "What would you like to see?"

"I want to see the Sculpture Garden," said K.C. assuredly.

"Alright then… we'll have to take the subway," Clare said, and started walking with K.C. She was scared out of her mind. Just when she thought things couldn't get worse K.C. showed up, and it seemed like the Eli incident had happened years ago. Her mind was racing. She kept wondering how he was able to find her, how he was able to get out of prison. Apparently K.C. fucking Guthrie could do anything, she witnessed that first hand. And she was positive that he would do the same to her, there was nothing stopping him, after all. Eli was gone, and she was convinced that he didn't care about her anymore. She didn't have anyone else to go to. She was all alone with K.C.

She decided that waiting in fear would not work, though. She was not some damsel in distress, and if she was going to die, she needed answers first. "How did you even get out?" she asked, turning towards K.C. while walking and taking a leap of fail by being bold. He was never one for people questioning him. She had learned that the hard way one day when she asked him where he had been and he went on a rampage, slapping her repeatedly.

But K.C. seemed to be un-offended by her question, it seemed like he had something else going through his perverted mind at the moment. "I broke out," he simply said. "You didn't think they'd let a homicidal maniac back on the streets, would you?"

"Very funny," Clare said, still on edge around him.

"After that, it was easy," K.C. elaborated. "When you fled Deline, I had my brother follow you. He didn't _stalk_ you, exactly. But he found out what your new name was, and where you were. So when I broke out all I had to do was drive down here and look you up. Did you know that you're the _only _Clare Edwards in all of Toronto?" Clare shuddered. She had been followed the whole way to Toronto and she didn't even notice. "Anyway," K.C. continued. "I thought about you lots, while I was locked up."

"I'll bet," she mumbled to herself, thankful that K.C. didn't hear her.

"You really screwed me over, Liz," K.C. said, forgetting that her name was Clare. "I would have gotten off easy peasy if it weren't for you. I would be free. I wouldn't be hiding from the police, I would have lived a normal _fucking_ life, if it weren't for you."

"You couldn't have!" Clare exclaimed, letting her frustration get the best of her. "You are a _murderer!_ There's no way in hell that you could have ever been normal after that."

"Well I guess I'll never find out," K..C. growled, and seeing the perfect opportunity, he dove into one of Toronto's many dark alleys, pulling Clare with him.

"K.C.! Let _go _of me!" Clare shrieked, struggling within his vice-like grip.

"Shut up!" K.C. yelled. "Do you really think that I would let you off so easily?"

Clare was crying now, tears making torrents down her face, and she was surprised she even had any tears left. K.C. backed Clare up to one of the cold brick walls and she shivered violently.

"Don't worry," K.C. said in her ear, making Clare recoil in disgust. "When I kill you, I'll be sure that _no one_ sees me this time."

"You won't get the chance," Clare choked out through her tears, and used all of the force she could to knee K.C. in his balls, sending him doubling over in pain.

Clare got her phone out, and dialed for the cops, but she didn't even get to connect the call, because K.C. was up on his feet inhumanely quickly and snatched the phone out of her hand. He threw it on the ground and stomped on it harshly.

"If you call the fucking police I swear to god you will be dead before they even get your goddamn location," K.C. threatened, and pulled Clare's hair down hard and her face his the pavement. She could feel the warm blood oozing out of her head and cried out in both pain and anger.

K.C. kicked Clare, and was about to take out his knife to finish her off, when he heard someone approaching him. "Hey!" the voice shouted, seething with anger. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Back off," K.C. warned, waving the boy off with little thought. "Or you'll be next."

Clare looked up through her perpetual tears, and she could hardly believe who it was. "Eli?" she asked, her head still throbbing. She was sure that maybe she was dead, and that she was making all of this up.

But Eli ignored her, he was too busy trying to save her life. "I'm serious," Eli fumed, stepping closer to K.C. "Leave her alone."

"And what would _you_ do about it? Emo me to death? Unlikely," K.C. scoffed, and turned himself back to Clare, who was slowly fighting to keep consciousness.

Eli charged towards K.C. and pushed him down to the ground, narrowly avoiding Clare's lying body. Eli jumped on top of K.C. and started throwing punch after punch to his face, breaking K.C.'s nose in the process.

Clare was growing stronger by the second, and realized that her nose was broken, and K.C. had cracked open her skull, and she tore off a large portion of her dress and placed it against her injured skull, preventing more blood from escaping her head.

Eli kept pounding on K.C.'s face, every time shouting something like "You can_not_ touch my fucking girlfriend," or "You fucking ruined her life," or "Go to hell you bastard!" He could tell that K.C. was slowly losing consciousness, and started to get off of him, but right as he was getting up, K.C. reached inside his jacked swiftly and pulled out the knife. Before Eli or Clare could see what was going on, K.C. quickly plunged his knife in Eli's body, right beside his waist. Eli groaned and took a hold of the knife, pulling it out of himself before he fell over beside K.C., who had lost consciousness right after he stabbed Eli.

"Eli!" Clare shouted, and crawled over to his still body, her tears coming out of her eyes more and more with each second that passed. She kneeled over his body, taking the cloth on her head and pressed it against Eli's stab wound. "Please!" she wailed. "Please! Don't die! You can't!"

Eli stirred slightly, giving Clare hope, and he turned his head towards her. He opened his eyes and looked at her with such intensity that it didn't even seem like he was losing more blood by the second. "I didn't cheat on you," he croaked out. "I love you," he said before closing his eyes and becoming unconscious like K.C.

Clare let out a huge sob. "Oh my god, Eli. Please, I'm begging you," she cried, but realized she was basically talking to dead air. Clare ran her hands through Eli's sweaty hair once more before reaching in his pocket and taking out his cell phone.

"Hello? Police?" she said into the phone, and explained everything.

The police were there with an ambulance in less than 2 minutes. Sirens blaring and lights blinding, Clare could hardly process anything anymore.

* * *

><p>"The doctors won't let you in just yet, Clare," Cece told her dejectedly, giving her a hug.<p>

"Cece, I am just so, so, _so_ sorry," Clare said, clutching onto Cece's shoulders as if they were the only thing keeping her on the ground and sane.

"Honey," Cece said, pulling back from the hug to look at Clare in the face, keeping her hands on her shoulders. "This is _not_ your fault. Do you hear me? Do not even think that it's your fault. If you do I will personally slap some sense into you," she offered with a small smile, which Clare reciprocated even if she still felt immense guilt over the whole ordeal.

She thought that if it weren't for her, then K.C. wouldn't have even come back; never would have threatened Eli's life. If it weren't for her, Eli would be on a plane to Hollywood with Julia on his side. She was the fuckup. She was the one that should be in intensive care, not Eli. She couldn't stop her mind from thinking all of those thoughts, and she was slowly going insane. She needed to get out of the overly white hospital. She felt like she was choking and that the walls were creeping towards her with every minute that passed. She knew that the walls would eventually close in on her like the walls clenching her heart.

She felt suffocated, and she needed Eli. She needed to see him before she officially went crazy.

"Clare?" Cece said, snapping in front of Clare's face. "Are you alright?"

Clare came out of her daze. "What? Yeah I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little bit claustrophobic right now. When do you think I'd be able to see Eli?"

"Right now," said a doctor who had just walked into the drab waiting room. He slowly ambled his way down the hall, seemingly in no rush, which drove Clare insane. He finally stopped in front of room 422. "He's been awake for 5 minutes and for every second he's been awake he's been asking for you. We technically aren't supposed to let non-family members see him when they haven't been awake for a long time, but I decided that you two were worth an exception to the rule," the doctor confessed with a toothy grin.

"Thank you so much for letting me in early, Doctor… Hayes," Clare said after reading the name on his jacket.

"It's no problem. It's actually easier this way, he'll be off our backs now," Dr. Hayes said, and let Clare into the room.

Eli's hospital room was pretty bare. Beside his bed there was a chair, but other than that there was no other furniture in the room. One of the fluorescent lights wasn't working, which made the room seem even more dreary.

Lying on the bed, Eli seemed to perk up vastly when Clare stepped timidly into the room. "Clare, I can't believe you're here," Eli said excitedly. "I didn't think you'd come considering…"

"Considering what?" Clare questioned, completely forgetting about the incident with Julia. So much had happened to her since then it just seemed like a distant memory.

"Considering you stormed out of my art opening in tears when you thought I was voluntarily locking lips with my heinous ex-girlfriend," Eli said, unable to look at Clare when he said that. He was so ashamed of himself, even if he knew that he didn't want to kiss Julia.

"Oh god, Eli," Clare said, rushing over to the chair and pulling it closer to the bed. "That's totally forgotten. I believe you that you weren't cheating on me. If you were definitely cheating on me then you wouldn't have run after me and saved my _life_."

"But still…" Eli argued. "I shouldn't have even put up with her crap for that long. She was using both of us, and I should have just noticed it right away and had her kicked out."

"Seriously, Eli. It's fine," Clare assured him. "Anyway, I'm the one that should be apologizing. If it weren't for me then you wouldn't even be in a hospital bed. I'm so sorry."

Eli took Clare's hand, and she was surprised that his grip on her hand was so strong for someone in the hospital. "Clare. Do _not_ blame yourself. It's not your fault at all. It's 100% K.C.'s fault. Is it your fault that he has serious mental issues? No. Is it your fault that he thinks it's alright to murder people if they did him wrong? Absolutely not. Is it your fault he broke out of jail? Not even in the slightest. But do you know what you did that was so amazing?"

"I put my life in jeopardy as well as yours?" Clare offered with a smirk.

"You put K.C. in jail. You were strong and you didn't let him intimidate you. You basically single handedly put a man in jail for a horrible gruesome crime. That was all you," Eli said, and his speech made Clare tear up. "Clare, I love you so much. You are an extremely strong person, and there's no way you could ever be blamed for any of the event that happened."

Clare stod up from her chair and awkwardly hugged Eli on the bed, making sure not to injure his side too much. They had been dating for a while, but every time they touched it sent pleasurable sparks flying from the contact point, but this hug was so much more than that. Clare was reeling from the overwhelming smell Eli still had even though he'd been in the hospital for a day and a half. Eli was grasping Clare's shoulders, pulling her closer to him and ignoring the pain that came from his hip. He could feel every inch of her. It felt like both of them could feel inside each other through the hug, into their deepest corners and their most intimate places. It wasn't sexual, but was a pure hug. Free of guilt and free of pasts. Free of anything and everything.

Clare broke away from the hug, crying, and she could feel some of Eli's tears on her shoulder as well. "I love you, Eli. I love you so much it's scary. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. There's nothing more I would like to do than spend the rest of my life with you."

"So let's do it," Eli said eagerly, and when he was met with a confused look he elaborated. "Let's get married."

Clare looked at Eli in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Completely," he said with a small smile. "I've realized, life is short, why not do what makes you happy all the time? So what do you say? I don't have a ring or anything but I'm sure that I could find one. And I guess you could move in? I haven't figured that out but—"

"Eli!" Clare cut him off from his ramble. "I would love to marry you," she agreed, and climbed into his bed for another hug.

"Great," Eli said, still within the hug. "Now there's the whole question of when and where and… well K.C. and everything."

Clare sighed. "K.C. was taken back to jail, but I don't trust him at all. He could break out any time he wants and come and find me again. I can't handle that kind of uncertainty."

Eli recognized Clare's discomfort. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out," he promised, stroking her hair and calming her nerves. "We'll figure everything out, as soon as I'm out of this godforsaken place."

Clare pulled back from the hug and smiled. "I can't believe I'm getting married."

"Yeah, me neither. Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?" Eli joked, and Clare rolled her eyes at her fiancé.

There came a knock from the door. "Excuse me?" said the woman entering. "Hi, I know this isn't the best time but I have to leave for New York in a few hours. My name is Christine Simpson. I'm an art collector," she explained, and Clare could feel Eli tense beside her. "I was at your show yesterday and I heard the whole story, right from the part about Julia Miller coming to your show to you almost dying in an alley a few blocks down. I love your art and your story ain't bad either. I was hoping that I could persuade you to sell me a few of your paintings. I'm willing to pay around $100,000 for five of your works."

Both Eli's and Clare's eyes bugged out of their heads when they heard the price. But once they both regained their composure, Eli looked a little wary. It looked as if he wouldn't say anything, so Clare looked back from him to the lady who barged into their room.

Clare stood up and walked over to Christine, putting on the best business face she could pull off. "I'm sorry, none of Mr. Goldsworthy's paintings are for sale," she told her.

Clare looked behind her at Eli, and the largest smile she had ever seen was on his face. His eyes held a passionate sparkle, and Clare knew she had said the right thing.

Christine looked sad, but not upset. "It's alright, just thought I'd ask. I'll let you two be now," she said, and exited the room.

Clare walked back over to Eli and sat at the side of his bed, looking at him with a smile.

"I cannot wait to call you my wife," Eli confessed, and pulled Clare in for a kiss full of passion.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the Toronto Sculpture Gardens.**

**Just… review, okay? Tell me what you think. (Also, I didn't proofread this at all haha.)**

**P.S. I don't know if you caught that, but Dr. Hayes is actually Damien Hayes. (and 422… figure that out, it shouldn't be hard.)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Warning! WARNING! M is for "My, my, my, is this mature," or "Mommy! This is too mature for me! Make the words go away!"**

* * *

><p>"Tell me again why we're doing this?"<p>

"Life is short. Live in the moment. We both want this, right?"

"Of course. I was the one who suggested it, after all," Clare said. "But I'm just nervous. What about Cece? Bullfrog? What about Adam and Alli? Can we really leave all those people behind?"

"They'll visit us all the time. Cece and Bullfrog will probably never leave us alone, and I will personally make sure that Alli and Adam visit us at _least_ once every two months."

Neither of them felt safe anymore in Toronto, so Clare's idea to just up and leave wasn't too hard to reject. She had already relocated across the country by herself, but the idea of going somewhere completely different didn't sound bad at all, as long as Eli was there every step of the way with her. So they went down to a random store and bought a globe, letting the ball of plastic choose their fate. And the spinning orb chose well: Amsterdam*. Clare quit her job at The Deep Pit, much to Crystal's dismay (but Crystal had also been introduced to Fiona Coyne at Eli's opening, so she couldn't be _too_ distraught with her new girlfriend's mouth attached to her neck). And earlier that day they both packed up all of their belongings and left with only a quick visit with their close friends and Eli's parents. Everyone was sad they were leaving, but understood completely that that's what they felt was best.

Clare squeezed Eli's hand in gratitude. "Thanks. For everything. I just… couldn't stay in Canada anymore. Too much baggage."

"We checked out all of our baggage at the desk," Eli said comfortingly. "It won't be following us anywhere. This is a fresh start. Together." Clare smiled at Eli and leaned in to give him a long sweet kiss before the pilot came on the loudspeaker to tell them that takeoff was imminent.

* * *

><p>Clare and Eli were both exhausted after the long plane ride, and jet lag wasn't doing much to help their efforts to gain energy. After checking past customs and dragging their things along down the streets with no mode of transportation, they finally arrived at the townhouse Eli managed to rent in a short amount of time. It was right in the heart of Amsterdam. Bikes constantly riding past with no particular place to go; just a short walk from any restaurant or shop; it was basically a hipster's paradise. But Eli and Clare were surprisingly unsurprised at the squalor of their new home. The carpet was scattered with chips of wood and glass, and there was a window completely missing from upstairs. The only furniture left was a couch, and it seemed to be the only hygienic thing in the apartment.<p>

Without even surveying the rest of the house, Eli wordlessly crawled onto the couch in the living room, opening his arms to Clare, so she instinctively lied herself down in his arms and snuggled into his chest. They both fell asleep almost immediately in each other's arms.

* * *

><p>Clare and Eli had spent the whole day cleaning and unpacking their things. It had taken them over 12 hours but they finally had dusted and swept everywhere, set up their bedroom, rearranged the living room, and replaced all the windows. They still had a lot of work to be done, though.<p>

At around 6 PM, which was their 12 PM, Eli was getting hungry so he started making Ramen noodles for them both in their now only semi-messy kitchen.

Clare walked in behind him and sat on top of the counter next to him. "You know what?" she asked Eli as he poured water into the pot.

"What?" he asked, giving her a peck on the lips after.

"I am really, _really_ happy," Clare confessed. "The happiest I've ever been. And it's all thanks to you."

Eli smiled at Clare. "I feel the exact same way. Now there's seriously nothing to worry about. No one to come back and try to mess up our lives. This is literally a clean slate."

"Can we promise to pretend that K.C. and Julia just never existed?" Clare asked hopefully, and was comforted when Eli nodded his head assuredly.

"From now on they will be nonexistent to us," Eli confirmed. "They-who-shall-not-be-named."

"Good," Clare said, kissing Eli on his jaw line. "Now let's dig in. I'm starving."

LATER

Standing in line at the courthouse, Clare and Eli couldn't help but laugh to themselves and mock the other couples around them. It was obvious that some of these people had just met or were desperate to just get hitched, and didn't put much thought to it. The couple in front of them consisted of a man over 70 years old, and woman that looked like his daughter; Clare and Eli could already hear them bickering over money. The couple behind them were already both very drunk, and attached at the mouth. Eli made a bet with Clare that their marriage wouldn't last more than a couple hours.

Seeing all of the hopeless people around them really made both Eli and Clare thankful for what they had. Their relationship as solid and they both loved each other more than anything in the world; it wasn't even purely physical, either, as they have yet to have sex. They weren't perfect, but together they knew that nothing was impossible. And they knew how cheesy that sounded, but neither cared.

Eli reached down and laced his fingers in between Clare's, whispering that he loved her in her ear, making her squeeze his hand with a bright smile on her face.

They both knew that they didn't want a big wedding, and they agreed to elope reasonably soon after they reached Amsterdam. So when they finished that last of the Ramen, Eli stood up, exclaimed "I want to marry you! Tonight!" making Clare laugh and blush at the same time, and they left the house after getting changed. Clare decided it was only appropriate to get married in white, so she brought out a long-sleeved lacy white dress that went down to her knees that she had just bought, and put a white floral headband in her hair, leaving Eli speechless. And because Clare got dressed up for the occasion, Eli decided to humor her and put on a white dress shirt and a black tie (that Clare had to tie, of course).

They were standing in line for a while, but when they finally got there they were feeling ecstatic. Impenetrable and nervous at the same time. But they both had an overwhelming calm come over them, as well. They knew it was going to be different but they also knew that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, and that they finally could.

It took a while, as Eli and Clare weren't citizens of the Netherlands, but it was worth it, because they were _married_. They had proof that they were never going to leave each other's side. No one else mattered, nothing was important. She was his. He was hers.

And they were in love.

* * *

><p>Clare led Eli into their new home that overlooked the city by his hand, not stopping until she was in front of their upstairs window that overlooked the calm Amsterdam night.<p>

"Wow," she sighed. "I can't believe I'm somebody's _wife_ now."

"Well believe it, baby," Eli chuckled, taking Clare's waist from behind and planting soft kisses along her neck. "Now," he said in between kisses. "Go make me a sandwich, woman."

Clare laughed and nudged Eli with her shoulder, too busy admiring the lights of her new city. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get to it right after doing your laundry," she joked back, turning herself around so that she was facing Eli, and placing her arms around his neck. Clare couldn't help but admire the handsomeness of her new husband, and she was not the only one marveling. Eli was almost dumbstruck as to how beautiful Clare looked in the glow of the city behind her. Clare's eyes were darker, and he couldn't look away from her gaze. The gaze that told him everything he needed to know. She loved him. She always had, and she always will. And he was so elated to know that he never doubted that for a second. He loved her so much that he could feel himself weakening with each second that passed, and his heart was beating so erratically that he did the only thing sensible to him: he bent his head down and captured Clare's lips with his.

She responded eagerly, twining her fingers in his hair and granting his zealous tongue access to her mouth. Eli moaned at the all-too-familiar taste of her mouth that he could never grow tired of, and Clare started walking forward, forcing Eli into their bedroom.

Still standing and with their limbs entwined, Clare moved her mouth to Eli's neck, sucking and biting everywhere. "Clare…" Eli moaned, and Clare giggled into his neck.

"Yes?" she said, looking up at him innocently, and Eli's gaze turned to full-on lust. He picked her up, wrapping her legs around his hips.

"I need you," he said simply, and plopped her down on the bed, her legs still around his waist.

"Mmm…" Clare hummed, and pulled Eli down to kiss her by his tie.

They were both so eager, but they also wanted to savor the moment, and kissed for a while, only going so far as Eli's hands sliding up and fondling Clare's breasts.

"Tell me," Eli asked, still kissing Clare. "How did it take us so long to get to this point?"

Clare laughed, and broke away from the kiss, staring into Eli's eyes again. "Because I was scared," she answered honestly. "Scared that… you would leave me. Scared that something would happen to you."

Eli smiled and shook his head. "I ain't going anywhere, darlin'," he assured.

"Good. Now, shut up andmake love to me. Now," Clare stated hoarsely, and Eli could feel his cock twitch inside his pants, already so turned on.

"With pleasure," he growled, and started kissing her again, this time taking off Clare's white dress as she proceeded to rid him of his shirt.

Their hands anxiously and impatiently roamed each others bodies, and then Clare felt daring and rolled over on their bed so that she was straddling him. She took off her dress in one swift move and started undoing Eli's pants, while he was consumed with playing with each one of her breasts after he took off her bra. Eli then jerked his hips up, causing Clare to moan and become distracted enough for Eli to roll them over again so that he could be on top.

Eli went to take her panties off, feeling how wet she was. "Fuck, Clare," Eli groaned. "How are you so wet already?"

"The same reason you're so hard already," Clare purred out sexily after she took his boxers off, and Eli growled deep in his throat, ripping off her panties and leaving them naked.

Eli kissed his way down Clare's stomach, leaving Clare's already heated body in flames. "Eli…" she whined.

It was Eli's turn to act innocent. "Yes?"

"Please…" she said, and pulled Eli's face back up to hers for another sloppy heated kiss.

By that time, both were shaking from anticipation. They both needed a release so badly already, and after realizing the enormity of the situation, Eli took a deep shaky breath and plunged into Clare.

"Ah!" Clare squealed, and Eli let her have a few seconds to adjust herself around his throbbing dick, although it was incredibly difficult for him.

"Oh my god, Clare," Eli gasped, finding it more difficult to form his usual sarcastic comments.

Clare simply whined deep in her throat and thrusted her hips up, wordlessly commanding Eli to go faster.

Eli dropped his head to the crook of Clare's neck, gasping for breath as he increased his speed.

Clare could feel herself getting hotter and hotter and she could feel a coil inside her stomach twisting and turning in painful pleasure. Electricity seemed to course in between her and Eli as they kept going faster and faster, moaning louder and louder with each thrust. Clare's nails made painful trails up and down Eli's back, and his grip on her hips was almost bruising.

The headboard kept banging on their bedroom wall, but it went unnoticed to both of them as Eli let go of Clare's hips with one hand and started to stroke her clit with his thumb. With that Clare was thrown over the edge, the coil inside her letting loose violently as she screamed in utmost pleasure. Eli kept thrusting, though, still not having cum. His thrusts increased in speed and in violence, and Clare felt herself approaching another orgasm quickly. She was riding out her second, long, orgasm when Eli finally came with her, accompanied by a long guttural moan.

Eli collapsed on top of Clare, sweating profusely and panting like a dog. He rolled off of her and pulled her to him, and she smiled her most dazzling smile while pushing his sweaty hair from his face.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Clare asked cheekily, her body still buzzing from her orgasms.

"Only when you were climaxing two seconds ago," Eli teased, and Clare shook her head laughing. "By the way…" he said, letting go of her and walking back over to his pants. He picked something out of his pocket, hiding it behind his back before he climbed back into bed. "We forgot something today," he told her, looking intensely in her eyes.

"What?" she asked eagerly. "I mean, we forgot a condom… but I've been on the pill for a while so…"

Eli chuckled, burying his face into her neck and taking in her scent. "You forgot something. Something that many married people have," he said into her skin, and took his hand out from behind his back without an answer from her. It was a small black velvet box and Clare's eyes grew in disbelief. Not only did she completely forget a ring, but Eli _remembered._ "I know that usually you get these things before marriage, but I think now is just as good as a time, right? Fuck tradition."

She started crying while giggling to herself, and Eli wrapped her up in a hug. "Shhh… it's okay," he told her, reminded of the many times he told her that when she confessed about K.C. to him.

"I know," she sniffled, raising her head to look him in the eyes. "It's perfect. _Everything_ is perfect. I'm just… so lucky."

"You think _you're_ lucky?" Eli asked incredulously, tearing up as well. "_I _am the lucky one, here. I don't know what I'd do without you, Clare," he said, and gave her a deep, meaningful kiss.

Clare finally calmed herself down enough and slowly opened the box to find the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. It wasn't big, and it wasn't flashy. It was simple and pure. A nice-sized diamond in the middle, and very small diamonds surrounded it on the sides. "Eli…" she breathed. "It's perfect. How did you—"

"It wasn't all me," Eli interjected. "Alli and Adam helped me pick it out."

"When?" she asked, still dumbstruck by her ring. It almost even looked to perfect to put on her finger.

"It was one of your shifts… a couple weeks before my art opening," Eli said cautiously, and it made Clare tear up again.

"Thank you," she said with a quivering voice and looked at Eli's eyes, full of passion, loyalty, and love. She buried herself in his chest again. "Let's just never leave this bed, okay?" she asked, slipping the ring on her left ring finer.

Eli kissed the top of her head. "Actually… I have an idea. If you want to do it, of course."

"Whatever you say," Clare said.

* * *

><p>Sitting right in front of Eli in her birthday suit, Clare was blushing profusely and felt incredibly exposed. He was sitting about 10 feet from her, delicately making sure that each detail of her nude body was perfect. He ensured that he got every curve exactly the way it was, and he spent the longest time mixing acrylics together to find the right skin tone for Clare. He took every miniscule detail into concern, and it made Clare nervous, for by catching every detail he must have found her many flaws. But the way Eli looked at her as he painted (also naked) comforted her more than any words could. It wasn't just that he thought she was beautiful, but he could just look at her and see what was in… her soul. It was like he was painting her heart, instead of her body, and that was what made his art so great. He delved past the superficial, and captured her emotions, and mixed them seamlessly with his own feelings.<p>

"I love you," she said suddenly, still sitting in front of him, and he released himself from his trance, gazing up at her questioningly. "I love the way you know exactly what I'm thinking. I love the way you look at me. I love the way our hands fit perfectly together. I love that no matter where I am, you make me feel safe. I love that I am so scared of the unknown, but I am willing to face it anyway, with you by my side. I love that you helped me recover from the worst thing in my life. I love how you selflessly just picked up everything and moved to a different country with me without a doubt in your mind."

By that time Eli had stopped painting and sat down next to Clare, watching her intently as she described everything that she loved about him.

"Sorry for babbling," she apologized, looking down. But Eli couldn't stop looking at her. He was dumbstruck and it was hard for him to even form sentences.

After gathering his thoughts, Eli took Clare's hands in his. "Clare," he said. "I can't even begin to describe how many ways I love you. I love the way you blush when you think you've said something wrong, even if it was the cutest thing ever. I love the way you never judged me, even when everyone else would automatically assume the worst of me. I love how strong you are. I love your completely unique musical ability. I love that I don't want to spend a second without you. I love that you inspired me to paint again. I love how _you _pulled_ me _out of the darkest time in my life. Clare, you are my one in a bazillion. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Clare was crying again, and after Eli was done reciting his unofficial vow, she took his face in her hands and kissed him with all the passion she could muster, and as he groaned into the kiss, he couldn't help think: _This is what paradise must be like_.

Because their paradise was found within each other.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Disclaimer: Hahaha! You thought I owned Degrassi? Lolol. No. I don't. **

**Super duper super sorry for the late update. Been busy. : P I hate being busy.**

**Yeah… this was the last chapter. I don't think I'm doing an epilogue; this seems pretty wrapped up. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Also, I just want to thank everyone that reviewed! You all make my day and I love you all immensely! And thanks to floorplanhobo, iloveeliandclare/kalie_p1997, only here in your arms, summersetlights, and FlybyNoon/hollysaysrawrr for not letting me give up on this godforsaken story (which I've wanted to do many times haha). And thanks to the anon Amanda whoever you are for writing fucking amazing reviews. **

***They basically**** spun the globe around and stopped it with one finger that pointed to their destination (Amsterdam).**


End file.
